Saturday, March 19, 2011

Bring the Spring

Yesterday was a beautiful day. 68 degrees. Sun was shining. I was laying on the trampoline in shorts. (could've done without the wind, but whatever) And yes, I was laying, not jumping. Thursday was also a beautiful day. The sun was shining. The sky was blue. I drove home from school with Carrie Underwood blasting and the windows down. It was a perfectly lovely day. I just came in from outside right now on this Saturday the 19th of March. I couldn't tell if it was snowing or raining or if it was just ice falling out of the sky. I checked the weather forecast, it's going to snow next week and the high will be 32 degrees on Tuesday. What is this? I hate being teased with this nice weather only to be buried in snow two days later. I know I live in Northeast PA and all, but come on mother nature, make up your mind. Or, I'll just do it for you. Bring the spring weather. Thanks.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Sheen's Korner of Krazy

So, Rosanne Barr said today that she feels sorry for Charlie Sheen because he had to work with Chuck Lorre. And it is making me wonder, is Charlie the crazy one, or is Chuck? She claims that Chuck Lorre constantly showed up to work drunk. Sizzle. Losing. Bye. In Sheen's Korner tonight, Charlie looked only about a thousand times better than he did yesterday. He went after all of the "trolls" in tonight's broadcast....Jon Cryer, Chuck Lorre...etc. He ranted about Chuck Lorre, or Chuck-ee-cheese-ball, or Fcuk Borre, as he referred to Lorre as. "If sad and stupid had a fowl odor attached to it, it would be you." he said, speaking of Chuck Lorre. "You are no match for this warlock." He then granted us, the non-trolls, his tiger blood, which I was pretty excited about. "Those who deserve it, now possess it. Use it wisely, I know you will." So now, I shall take my tiger blood and use it to write the "why am i winning?" part of my tiger blood intern application. Goodnight.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Celebrity Eyesight

I think my mom is losing her, what I will call, celebrity eyesight. Yesterday, she was watching a movie. The Super, an early 90's film with Joe Pesci, and, according to my mom, Tina Fey. I was walking into the kitchen when I heard her say, "Hey, Erica, you should come watch this movie with me. It's pretty funny. and Tina Fey is in it." So, naturally, I came in and sat down to watch it with her. Twenty minutes later, I'm sitting there wondering, where is Tina Fey? So, I asked my mother...who was Tina Fey and where is she? She was apparently, according to my mom, Naomi Besinger. The actress that played this woman is Madolyn Smith Osborne. Ever heard of her? Yeah, me niether. She looked nothing like Tina Fey. Ok, she wore glasses, much different than Ms. Fey's, but whatever, I'll give my mom that much. My mother also believes that the lady in the beginning of the new Dish Network commercials who gets run over by the hockey player is Eva Longoria. It's not. We argue every time the commercial comes on. Only resemblance I see is that she has the same hair color as Eva Lonogoria, but it's not nearly as thick. I guess when you get a little older, you begin to lose, not only your ability to see or read clearly, but your ability to recognize celebrities.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Super Sunday

So, today is super Sunday. It's the last Parade Committee meeting before the big day. My favorite day of the year. Parade Day. I enjoy listening the sounds of bagpipes and firetrucks and drunk people. Since I include people-watching as one of my favorite hobbies, this day is prime for me. So many people. So many different people. So many weird people. So many normal people. So many drunk people. So many Irish people. I don't understand why anyone would not want to head to Scranton for the biggest day of the year. Besides the nice people you meet, there are clown and the Pixie Chicks and the Black Diamond bagpipers and Homer the nutty plumber and funny hats and shamrock suntans from the stickers you put on your face. I actually don't know if the Pixie Chicks still participate in the parade. This year, since it's the 50th anniversary, I get to go to a big breakfast and all that jazz. Definetly looking forward to it. But then again, when is anyone not looking forward to Parade Day?

Friday, March 4, 2011

Finding the Nealon's

I decided to try and convince my mother to make our house underwater themed. The entire house. I think it would be pretty sweet looking. I would paint the walls to look like water and paint fish on it and get sea-inspired plants and furniture (like in a fish tank). I wouldn't need carpet or hard wood flooring, I would just put sand on the floor. Then I wouldn't hear the vaccuum running twenty million times a day. If the floor is sand, there's no need to vaccuum. I think it's a fantastic idea. I could even get beach smelling air freshener or salt water air freshener. I'm not sure if they make those, but I'd be willing to invent it. We wouldn't have to worry about people taking their shoes off when they come in the door. I think it would be cheap and fantastic looking. It would be just great! I better get to Lowe's.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Weirdo Magnet

I realized today while I was in TJ Maxx that the weirdest things happen to me. Or maybe it's just that I do the weirdest things. Or maybe, I'm just in the right place at the weird time. I was minding my business, checking the clearance racks in TJ Maxx when a woman dressed in Uggs and a bathrobe and nothing else walked in the store. I did a double take. I didn't believe what I was seeing. But yes, this woman wearing practically nothing was just waltzing through the store. Just last week, I was at my sister's basketball game and of course, the lights and the bathroom did not work. This lady that I did not even recognize made me hold my cell phone over the stall to provide her with a light. This past summer, I was sitting in my room, minding my own business when my ceiling fan became very shaky and made loud noises. Next thing I know, one of the blades is flying off and coming at me! I dove off the chair with my super quick lifeguard reflexes and survived the attack. These are few of many weird situations that have struck me. I'm like a weirdo magnet. I'm not complaining at all. It's hilarious. Unless it's a near death experience like the time my ceiling fan attacked me.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Manly Men Men Men

Men men men men manly men men.  ooohooooo im going to miss this manly show woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo men men men men manly man. Two and a Half Men. It's one of my all time favorite shows. I love Jake and his young naiveness (i do not even know if that is a word), and Alan reminds me of my Uncle Mark with some of his nerdy and hilarious comments, and Rose and her stalkerness, and Evelyn and her Real Estate classy rich outlook on her life, and of course, Berta with her snarky comments to everyone. It's a shame. It's seems to me as if Charlie Sheen has turned into Charlie Harper. Ok, Charlie Harper a little bit to the extreme.  Whatever. Two and a Half Men is a genius and geniunely funny show. And now that's it is done for the rest of the season and probably the rest of forever, I will not know what to do with myself on Monday nights at nine o'clock. Also, today, Charlie Sheen joined twitter. I am looking forward to tweeting him asking for life advice. If this man cannot help himself, somebody better step it. Jake needs a better role model. And I need something to watch on Mondays at 9PM. Mr. Sheen should get his act together, apologize to Chuck Lorre and get back to Two and a Half Men.