Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bring in the Dancing Lobsters

I don't know what it's like to be Amanda Bynes. I don't know what it's like to walk in her shoes. All I know is that I've looked up to her for years. She's a terribly funny person who created her own kid's version of Saturday Night Live. How freaking cool is that?

We may feel like we know her from what we read in the media everyday. And all that crap is what turns me off from my own possible profession. Every day someone is ripping her apart, reporting her mishaps and mistakes and downward spiral. And I can't help but think, are we creating that downward spiral?

Aren't we supposed to think about the person on the other side of the stories we report?

No one could possibly know the depths of her struggle. And yet, it's plastered all over every TV, newspaper, and website.  She is the butt of jokes on late night television and Twitter and Facebook. But just think, what if this was me? What if I was Amanda Bynes? Wouldn't seeing or hearing these things push me further down the path of destruction?

Amanda Bynes is 27 years old in a business that ensures no security to anyone.  Despite Hollywood, everyone (I don't care who you are) goes through a stage of confusion and doubt and loneliness, especially in their 20's. I have no idea where my life is going to go. And I'm sure Amanda Bynes feels the same way. Scared. Deep down, she is just like us. Erase the media crap around her and look a little deeper. You have a confused, talented 27 year old girl whose lost sight of herself and her goals.

She grew up in a bubble, the Hollywood bubble, which few people can handle, nevermind a child. She doesn't really know any other way of life. She never really had a childhood. She was always in the spotlight. Maybe this could be what has done her in.

We truly don't know.

She has a mental disorder. She needs help.

Yet, look at the history of what the media has done to celebrities with mental disorders like Amanda's.
Lindsay Lohan has been torn apart in the media for years for her drug and alcohol abuse and overall behavior. Amanda Bynes seems to be spiraling down a similar path. Britney Spears was ridiculed for her drug and alcohol abuse and overall behavior while going through what I assume was the toughest part of her life. They made fun of her. Charlie Sheen seemed to be almost praised for his behavior. There was so much hype around him and his live web chats and his "tour." How in the world can this help anyone?

These people are normal people, just like you and me. Their lives just get picked apart to no end.

Before you go making a stupid comment about someone, anyone, think. Think how it might affect them. Don't judge them. You've never taken a walk in their shoes. Be kind to everyone you meet, for they are all fighting a hard battle.


I know this isn't my usual kind of blog post, but I felt I needed to post my two cents. Now we might as well bring in the dancing lobsters!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Twister

I was at my Noni's tonight when I saw the footage from Oklahoma for the first time today. I can't even imagine what these people must be going through.

I'm in NEPA. We rarely see this kind of action. Yet, I remember when I was little, like...1st grade....we had a tornado watch. I didn't really know what exactly a tornado was. Once, my mom and dad were watching the movie Twister and it scared me half to death. Then I went inside during this tornado watch and on the screen was a real life scene from Twister. From that day forward, I was deathly afraid of tornadoes. I couldn't sleep at night because I would worry about a tornado coming. This went on for years. I would hear thunder and I would think TORNADO.

Then one day I actually sat down and watched a Storm Stories marathon on the Weather Channel for a good 12 hours. This was the start to my "I want to be a meteorologist" phase. The only channel I ever watched was The Weather Channel. I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I watched The Weather Channel 24/7. This might tell you what kind of kid I was....and the kind of weird person I am. Anyway, this Storm Stories marathon inspired me. Not only did I want to be a meteorologist, I wanted to be a storm chaser. This was the beginning to my adrenaline junkie phase that hasn't ended yet. Then once I actually watched the movie Twister and all I wanted was to be Helen Hunt in that movie. That movie became my bible.

That might be an exaggeration.

Then I hit the 6th grade, when we began to learn the nitty gritty stuff of meteorology. That was the end of my "I want to be a meteorologist" phase.

 Yet, the adrenaline junkie phase still lives on. I would tag along with a storm chaser in a heart beat. I'd chase a tornado myself. A small one. In NEPA. Near a mountain that would kill it. Since the path of a twister can really change at any second, I'd like to be with professionals who knew what they were doing.

I've got CNN (found my remote) on right now and all I can think is "I want to be Helen Hunt in Twister." Why didn't I follow those storm chaser dreams? Why can't I like science more? I can't even imagine a mile wide tornado. A MILE. That's huge. But Helen Hunt dealt with one in the movie Twister. And right now, I'm kind of wishing I was a storm chaser, out there following that twister and figuring out the science behind it. How on Earth did it stay on the ground for 40 minutes? How can we better predict it and warn the people sooner?

Finally, I'd like to say, I'd like to get caught up in the eye of the twister and survive like Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton.

Also, someone on CNN just said it was exactly like the movie Twister. There were cows flying around and cars. Crazy.

God bless the people of Oklahoma.
You can help the people of Oklahoma by donating to the Red Cross. Text REDCROSS to 90999.

The Real Crisis Today

Ok, I think it's time to address the big issue we're all facing today.

Television remotes.

Ten years ago, I had one television clicker. When I hit the power button, the TV turned on right away. If I wanted to change the channel, I hit the channel up or down button. If I wanted to change the volume, I hit the volume up or down button.

Now, there are 4 remotes by my bed side. I pick up the Vizio remote to turn the TV on. It takes agood 45 seconds for the TV to turn on, so if you walk in your house at 8:59:15 on a Sunday night just in time (or so you think) for the Celebrity Apprentice, you are screwed. You will miss the very beginning. Then, if the TV is on the wrong channel, forget it. You can't just hit the channel button on that remote. You have to dig for the Comcast remote to change the channel. And when you change the channel, if it's too loud, you then have to find the Universal remote you purchased in Walmart to change the volume. If I lose the Vizio remote, I can't turn the TV on or off. Then I live by the sleep timer on the universal remote...if the TV was on when I lost the Vizio remote. This new TV doesn't have buttons on it so if I lose any remotes, I'm dead. And this is my crisis right now. My channel has been stuck on NBC for 2 weeks. NBC of all channels, (no offense to NBC, but you're failing) and I can't change it. So last night, while I was watching the Celebrity Apprentice finale, I wanted to flip channels on commercials to the Billboard Music Awards. So to "flip channels" I had to run into my sisters' room. I certainly got my exercise for a week.
Then, downstairs on the nice big TV we have one of the HD boxes. I have everything programed on one remote, but when you hit the "All On" button, the TV might come on, but the box and the sound bar will not. Or...the box will come on, but the TV will not. Then it's all out of sync until you hit the button 100 times and they all finally turn on at once. Then, at night when you turn the TV/Box/Sound bar "off," you come down in the morning only to notice the TV was all night, but you would never know because the box and the sound bar turned off so it's just a black screen. See, I though technology was supposed to make things easier. Why has it made my TV viewing experience terribly complicated?





I joke about my "real" crisis, but I realize I am terribly lucky today. Prayers to Oklahoma and everyone in the path of those storms.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Questions to Ponder

I often have trouble sleeping at night....or concentrating on anything. I've figured out why but I don't know how to stop it. My mind races with all these questions I want the answers to, but I don't know where to look for those answers. I figure, maybe you all can help.

Is there actually a doctor named Dr. Pepper?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why is there a song about it?
You know that kid's show Martha Speaks? Who names their dog Martha?
Why aren't I famous yet?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat "Macaroni?"
Is there an actual Sesame Street?
On that theme, why does everyone forget about Grover because he is the funniest Sesame Street character?
How come when I put something down somewhere it magically hops to somewhere else and then I can't find it?
Is my memory just bad? It shouldn't be because I watch GSN.
If a woman becomes President, what do we call her husband? First Man? 
If you get "half scared to death" twice, then what happens?
Why do Sauna Pants exist?
How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
Along those lines....how do you throw away a garbage can?
You know when you're listening to a song and you think you know the words but they're not close at all? Does an artist sing different words to just mess us up?
Why is the TV telling me it's great to be a worm right now?
Why is Fox News still a thing?
Why are some people such butt heads?
Can you cry under water?
Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it? and the F and J keys on the keyboard?
When does murder become assassination?
How were sports invented? There's so many rules. Who has that kind of time?
Or card games? I love sports and card games but who has time to think of all these things with all these rules and these scoring methods and all that other crap?
Why is football called football? In every other country they call soccer "football." So why couldn't we have just done that called football "soccer?"
Why is a strike bad in baseball but good in bowling?
If you have braces and you die, do they bury you with your braces on?
 Why do Atheists exist? Because if there is a God, you've ruined all chances of making it into Heaven. Give yourself a little leeway.
Religion again...If every religion says, "if you don't believe in our religion, you're going to Hell," then doesn't everybody just go to Hell?
What's with the Easter bunny and eggs? A bunny does not lay eggs. Unless I missed that day in school.
How do you perform a Citizen's Arrest? (ok this one I could research but a. I'm too lazy and 2. I usually don't think about it until I'm almost asleep.)
My mom always says things like, "you know....they say..." or "you know what they say..." WHO ARE THEY?
Who came up with the name Oogie Pringle?
Sliced bread is great and all, but why don't we say, "That's the best thing since television?"

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Life's Struggles

I've come across many struggles in life. Death, depression, addiction (to candy crush), missing my TV shows...you get the idea. But one of the biggest and most annoying is the struggle I constantly have with my closet. There's simply not enough room. I've collected 20 years worth of stuff in a 2 by some other small number space. I have dressers galore. My closet has every kind of organizing pinterest trick you can imagine. Still, some clothes just have to be stored on the floor.
I wish I was Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and the City movie. She gets this gorgeous apartment in Manhattan with Big and then she gets a PERFECT closet. I fantasize about the day all of those things happen to me. But especially the closet part.
I also have a slight shopping addiction. Ok it's not slight, it's huge. It's bad. It's a problem. If I am not rich AND I don't marry rich, I will have a problem. I figure may have to do with my small closet problem. But even if I don't really have a shopping addiction, I still could use a bigger closet. I have containers under my bed with clothes. I have clothes hanging on the back of my door. And you know what the big problem is? I don't wear half of it, yet when I go through it I think, "No I might wear this someday." Or something like, "As soon as I give this to the Sally, I will be looking for it." It always seems to work out that way. So then....I keep it. Stuff I haven't worn in years...or ever. It's still here in my room haunting me. "whyyyy did you buy me if you were never going to wear me?' "look at all this money wasteddddd" "you're just going to let me sit here in this crowded closet?"
I don't know if clothes have thoughts but that's what I imagine them to be.
Who am I kidding? Clothes don't have brains so they don't have thoughts.
What if things without brains could have thoughts?
Now I'm getting off topic.
The point here is....I need a separate room...or house...to use as a closet. It would make life much easier. You would actually be able to see my blue carpet instead of a somewhat blue carpet mixed with denim and green and purple and black and Lilly Pulitzer prints. It is a constant struggle between me and my closet and my clothes and possibly my shopping addiction. I know the solution: get rich and build a bigger closet. But the getting rich part seems to be harder than I expected so if any of you have a faster solutions, suggestions are greatly appreciated.