Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I'm Thankful for Life and Other Things

    This Thanksgiving, there will be an empty seat by me. My buddy, my Noni won't be sitting by my side. You never know how much time you have left, how many more holidays with friends and family. And so, for that, I say go out and tell people you are thankful for them. I'm thankful for all my friends and family. And an array of a other things.

I am thankful for:

  • Potatoes
  • People who don't drive slowly in the left lane
  • 4th of July fireworks
  • Lord and Taylor sales
  • Butt warmers in the car
  • Sam's Club free samples and hotdog combo
  • Glen Oak
  • Meryl Streep
  • Acid reflux pills so I can go to Moe's and also eat pizza
  • Netflix
  • People who don't have their high beams on when they drive toward me
  • Everybody Loves Raymond
  • Everybody Loves Raymond marathons
  • Jimmy Fallon thank you notes
  • Ballet
  • The new CVS in Clarks Summit with the better parking lot
  • The giant pockets in my winter coat because they are big enough to fit a hoagie
  • Hoagies from the Waverly Deli
  • Taylor Swift singing "cuz darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a day dream."
  • Buzzfeed articles that distract me from doing important things
  • The Xfinity remote app because I always forget to record my shows
  • Pepperidge Farm bread
  • People who aren't mean to waitresses
  • My Twitter followers
  • Spongebob's wisdom
  • Billy Crystal and Bette Midler in Parental Guidance
  • People who use their blinkers
  • The Katy Berry at State Street
  • The Allentown rest stop
  • Kurt Sutter
  • Gertrude Hawks Smidgens
  • The free sample Auntie Anne's lady
  • Beyonce
  • Holiday hours at the mall
  • People who stop at stop signs
  • That I was able to see Joan Rivers in person work her magic
  • Salerno's Pizza
  • That I've seen Barry Manilow 5 times
  • Smart TV's
  • Oprah's favorite things
  • My blankie
  • Rewards points at stores that get you free things
  • Ceiling fans
  • Coupons
  • Chapstick
  • The energetic music of ABBA
  • Beats headphones so I don't have to hear my mom vacuuming
  • Frozen because Olaf
  • Beaches (the movie and the ocean-y sandy places)
  • People who smell nice
  • People who read articles before commenting on them on Facebook
  • The year Charlie Sheen went crazy and ran Twitter #winning #AdonisDNA #tigerblood #goddesses
  • Owning waaayy too many Alex and Ani bracelets
  • My pillow
  • People who tip 20% (or at all)
  • My ukulele that I still don't know how to play
  • Mr. and Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island
  • The grilled cheese sandwiches in McGowan
  • That the guy who's car mirror I knocked off like 3 years ago was a super nice old man who told me his life story and then offered me a grilled cheese
  • That every time I take a "Which Golden Girl are you?" quiz, I get Rose Nylund
  • Judge Judy's snarky comments like "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."
  • The little lemur dude that sings "I Like to Move It Move It" in Madagascar
  • Airplanes and airports because they fascinate me 
  • The thrill of Black Friday
  • When FX plays The Devil Wears Prada before Sons of Anarchy on Tuesdays
  • When things don't interfere with my TV schedule
  • Wendy's chicken nuggets
  • Living near a golf course
  • My pool
  • Sunglasses
  • The TV Guide app
  • President Clinton's Burger Stand game
  • Chocolate pie
  • The socks I carry in my purse in case I don't have any on and I have to try on shoes that need socks
  • Any books on Princess Diana
  • 39dollarglasses.com
  • Baby powder
  • The free flashlight coupons for Harbor Freight in the Sunday paper
  • Noni's pasta sauce
  • The lady that works the checkout counter near the purses at Macy's
  • Non-depressing news stories
  • When I can actually sleep
  • 1970's Keith Richards
  • Still thankful for sneaker wedges (sorry haterzzz but they are comfortable)
  • TMX Elmo
  • The Rob Lowe Direct TV commercials
  • St. Germain
  • TJ Maxx and Marshalls
  • Paris Hilton perfumes
  • Bon Jovi and anything and everything related to Jon Bon Jovi
  • That one time I tried stand up comedy
  • Lava lamps
  • When I don't forget to put my earrings on
  • That one time I asked Clay Aiken if he wanted to go to lunch
  • Free shipping
  • That one time I didn't burn anything in the kitchen (I can't recall a specific time, but I'm sure it's happened)
  • People who read these silly posts
Ok I'm tired of this now and I'm sure you're tired of reading it. Time to eat and shop. Peace out girl scouts. Go buy some cookies.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

I Think I Have Seasonal Affective Disorder

    So today, it is very cold and windy. I hate cold. I hate wind. I hate winter. I hate darkness. I hate snow. I hate ice. I hate having to start my car to warm it up. I hate coats. I hate gloves. I hate bare trees. I hate scraping the snow off my car. I hate wearing a million layers of clothes. I hate being cold. I hate the salt on the roads. I hate when the salt from the roads gets on my black boots. I hate being outside when it's cold. I hate when I walk outside in the cold and my nose hurts. I hate runny noses. I hate shoveling. I hate when the snow turns brown. I hate the giant piles of snow that take up the parking spaces at the mall. I hate that wintery-white-salt look outside. I hate hand warmers because they do nothing for your fingers. I hate how winter is basically the longest season. I hate January and February. I hate how January and February go on forever. I hate how in January and February, there's nothing to look forward to but summer. I hate that my feet and my hands are always cold. I hate that winter amplifies that whole "I'm always cold" thing. I hate how the sweaters in my closet take up so much room. I hate that I have no room in my closet for all my clothes. I hate that I have to change my clothes by season. I hate when it gets below 70 degrees. I hate that my pool is closed. I hate that the Glen Oak pool is closed. I hate that when I go outside for a break at work, I freeze. I hate that I am currently wearing socks for gloves. I hate typing with socks on my hands. I hate that my steering wheel is too cold to touch. I hate pumping gas when it's cold. I hate that the cold makes my face all red. I hate getting out of my bed when it's cold. I hate sitting on the leather seats when they are cold. I hate walking from class to class in the cold. I hate that there's not a warm shuttle to drive me from class to class in the cold. I hate that I don't see the usual walkers around the neighborhood because it's too cold. I hate that I don't hear that nice sound of a driver hitting a golf ball off a tee because it's too cold. I hate that there's no one at all on the golf course. I hate that the greens are covered in a white sheet-like thing that looks like snow. I hate turtle necks. I hate having so many layers of clothes on that I can't move. I hate hats. I hate how hats mess up my hair. I hate that I could be living somewhere warm but I decided to stay home for school. I hate that when I tell people I want to move somewhere warm, they say it's too far. I hate that people like skiing. I hate how I don't understand why people like skiing. I hate how my toes feel like they are going to fall off when I am outside for longer than 30 seconds. I hate how I don't understand why some people like winter. I hate that people like winter. I hate how "winter" just sounds like an evil word. I hate when people disagree with me on how awful winter is.
I hate that I hate the cold.
I hate that winter makes me a negative person.
WebMD says this is called "Seasonal Affective Disorder." (SAD) (how ironic)
I'm SAD that it's winter and it can't always be summer. Summer - when it's warm, and there's not a big green cover over my pool, and I can hear the sweet sound of golfers and I can not wear pants.