Tuesday, January 1, 2013

I've Never Injured Myself Using A Cotton Swab

I just saw a commercial for this product called the "Wax Vac" or something of that nature. It cleans your ears. The commercials starts by talking about how using cotton swabs to clean your ears is "dangerous" and whatever. Then, they proceed to show a man cleaning his ear with a Q tip and then screaming "OUCH!" Now, I don't know about any of you, but I've never injured myself using a cotton swab. And at this....I laughed. I laughed way harder than anyone should while watching a commercial not meant to be funny. A serious commercial that is trying to sell you something.
I've seen plenty of these types of commercials. They're hilarious. Doesn't the maker of the product realize how ridiculous the commercials make the product look?
I saw another one just before the Wax Vac in which people are complaining that when they sit down for long periods of time, their "back and bottom" hurt. So...what is the commercial's answer to this problem? This little foam pillow with gel in the middle or something. It's called Forever Comfy. You just put it on the seat and VOILA! No pain. Now, I see how this thing can solve that awful pain on your butt, but your back? Not making much sense to me. Then there's this older guy who is sitting at his computer in major pain from sitting too long. Then he gets the pillow thing and he is just super happy and typing away and making that "you go girl" gesture at the computer screen. You just have to laugh. There's no other way. I guess you could also yell at the TV, "If your butt really hurts from sitting for hours, why don't you get up off your lazy bum for a little while?" There, problem solved.
All of these great commercials....from the Sauna Pants to the Snuggie commercials where everyone is wearing snuggies literally every where and they are all dancing in them....are just great entertainment for people like me. They provide good laughs and great conversation. I don't know if that's what the sellers have intended. If so, they're doing a fabulous job.
One of my favorite commercials, which I actually haven't seen in a while, is the Hover Round commercial. Now I can go go go in my Hover Round. Indoors, outdoors, all over town! And there's just old people everywhere riding their Hover Round, enjoying life. There are choregraphed Hover Round dances, with everyone in circles riding around. And what makes it even better is that the man who invented the Hover Round appears in the commercials and his name is Tom Kruse. This commercial is just GOLD. Old people riding their Hover Rounds in the woods, in the mall, by fountains, in the old folk's homes. Everyone every where in this ad has a hover round. In the woods, in the mall, by the fountains, in the old folk's homes, everyone has a Hover Round and a smile. AND it comes with an in home test certification....whatever that means.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go put on my Trendy Top and Cami Secret because regular camis are just too annoying and make the perfect Tortilla for dinner, use my Hot Buns to get the perfect bun....or curly hair, take some money out of my Fanny Bank, and go to Boscov's and buy a purse organizer in every color and some Pajama Jeans. Because...who wouldn't want Jeans made out of sweatpants?

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