All Kinds of Kinds

    Until very recently, it had been months since I had written. When I lost my Noni, not only did I lose my best friend, I lost myself. I hated that I had to go through each day without her. I still do. She was my inspiration, especially for my writing. When I lost her, I lost my voice.

     Well, she would smack me and tell me to quit moping and keep moving. So, even though she is not physically here, I have now found her in myself. That tough cookie that was in her is in me. So I continue to move, even though some days are harder than others, forward, which has become my new favorite word. Forward.

      So with that sappiness out of the way, Noni talked to everyone. Even if she didn't like you, she talked to you. She knew everything about everyone and everyone went to her for the scoop. Why isn't the rest of the world like this? I have adopted this way of life. I like people, most of the time. Sometimes they are just plain stupid. BUT most of the time, I like people. People are entertaining. Even the stupid ones. Maybe especially those ones. 

      Barbra Streisand even wrote a song, "People." People who need people are the luuuuckiest peopleeee in the worldddd. I know you're singing it. (unless you're under the age of 50 and uncultured. then i feel sorry for you) As people, we need each other to survive. You never know what anyone is really going through, even though they are happy as can be on the outside. You should know that people have feelings. So - why can't we all just be like Noni and be kind to each other? Talk to each other. Learn about each other. Believe it or not, you can learn things from other people!

       I read Hoda Kotb's autobiography a few years back. In one chapter, she talks about her breast cancer diagnosis. The people at the Today Show asked her if they could follow her through her breast cancer journey. Hoda was unsure if she would like that. She sat next to a man on a plane who told her, "Don't hog your journey." Share your journey. Someone else is probably going through the same thing somewhere in this world. And isn't it always comforting to see that someone else has been through a similar situation? When you hog your journey, you are being selfish. 

        I could end this with a million silly quotes about journeys and battles and somehow incorporate the word "brouhaha" because that's just a great word, but I'll just say this : be kind to one another. It's really, very simple.

"Ever since the beginning, to keep the world spinning, it takes all kinds of kinds."

       

Oh Wow That's Awkward

    You know what's awkward? When you hold the door open for someone, yet they are an awkward distance away and so then, they do that funny run to the door. That's awkward. It's like when you let someone cross the road while your in your car, and they do that funny run across the street that's like a half run half walk.
    You know what else is awkward? When someone says hey or hello and you say hey back and they were not at all talking to you. They have a bluetooth in their ear (which is always AWKWARD)  (Also, is this 2006?) or they were talking to someone behind you, or next to you. You just try to make it look like you never said anything and immediately look the other way.
    Which brings me to waving. I hate waving unless someone is waving and yelling "HEY ERICA!" Waving to people is the most awkward thing ever. When someone waves in even remotely the same direction you are standing, you never have any idea if they are waving to you are not. If they are waving to you and you don't wave back....AWKWARD. If they are not waving to you and you wave back, AWKWARD. So if you're gonna wave to me, yell my name.
    When you can't hear people, that's always awkward. And I hate saying, "excuse me" a thousand times so then I just say, "uh-huh, yeah." And thennnnn we end up in the awkward puffy shirt "I don't wanna be a pirate!" Seinfeld situation.
      When you sneak a picture of someone funny or something stupid and the flash goes off. AWKWARD. This has happened to me countless times, in class, in Walmart, in The Cheesecake Factory.
      I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond today (surprise surprise) and Amy came in Ray's house after that horrible situation with the janitor and his kid (season 9 for reference) and said "What? Did your mother come in and make things worse as usual?" not realizing that Marie was behind the door. I'm sure basically everyone in the entire world has been in this AWKWARD situation. Oops.
      I read a story today about a lady who got stuck in a chimney after attempting to sneak into an ex-boyfriend's house. Obviously AWKWARD. The fire department had to rescue her. Totally awkward all around.
      People always get my name wrong. They spell it with a k. I don't know how to correct this, especially if it's gone on for a while. Or…when people message me on Facebook "Hey Erika." My name is literally right above. How do you get this wrong? And then when people say "Nealson" or "Nelson." Where is there an S in Nealon? Where do you see it? Nowhere. The most awkward situation is when people call you the wrong name, especially if you correct them once and then the next time they still say the wrong name. I get "Erin" all the time. My name is not Erin. Stop calling me Erin. Stop spelling my name with k and saying Nealson. Stop making this AWKWARD.
      You know what else is awkward? Public bathrooms. Need I say more? Especially if someone tries to open the door of the stall you are in. Helloooo don't you see my shoes? I don't think people just leave their shoes in public bathroom stalls.
       When you are in your car and some butt head cuts you off and then gets stopped next to you at the red light. HA I find this hilarious but talk about AWKWARD for that stupid guy. He's over there trying so hard not to make eye contact while I'm cracking up laughing.
       Speaking of cars, I often sing in my car like I am Celine Dion. It becomes AWKWARD when you are stopped at a red light and everyone stares at you. Even worse if your windows are down and they can hear you. One time I stopped at a light in a construction zone listening to Bey and Jay Z Part II On the Run and the windows were down as I was rapping (yes, rapping) and the construction worker told me to work it and turn it up because obviously I'm not Celine Dion. Or Jay Z.

    Now, I'll start with some more personal awkward situations that have happened to me, and in one case, my sister in real life.

    I am a waitress. I am sure all waitresses can relate to this. When I am out to eat and the waiter or waitress walks up to my table, the talking at the table usually comes to a halt. Well, apparently, not all people follow this. When I as the waitress walk up to a table and they continue to talk, talk about AWKWARD. I usually stand there for a second before I say anything to see if they will stop, but if they don't, then I just look like an idiot. Then, I have to awkwardly interrupt their conversation. And what's even worse is when they keep going. I never ever know what the protocol here is. I just talk and pray at the same time that they will shut up so I can get their orders in and give them their food so they don't complain that they've been there an hour and have had nothing to eat yet. Not my fault, lady chattily.
    Once, I had to dress as the Easter bunny for work. I was on a hopping break, chilling in the locker room, when I heard footsteps. Someone was coming in the ladies locker room to use the bathroom. It was a mom and her little kid. There is nothing you can say to a little kid when she sees you in the Easter bunny body without the head. Nothing at all. Think about it. There's nothing. You just scarred that kid for life. Talk about awkward. And life ruining.
     I took my sister to confession because we are good Catholics (actually, you just have to do that before Confirmation) and toward the end, the priest went to bless her. As he raised his hand to do his Father, Son, Holy Spirit bit, SHE GAVE HIM A HIGH FIVE. The priest thought it was hilarious, but still, holy awkward.

My Goal in this Life: Stay Away From the Pole

     It's been a while since I've written in my blog and to that, I apologize. I have been doing endless soul searching (and shopping, but that's a different story) trying to figure out what in the world I am doing with my life. Don't worry, I'm no where closer now than I was then…or ever.
     About a week ago (sorry I couldn't resist), really, about a year ago, I found out that I would be graduating college early. Yipee! Right? Not exactly. This just means that I have more work to cram in and less time to figure out what next. Well, everyone can stop asking me now, because, really, I have no flipping clue. Does anyone ever really know? I guess if you're going to school to be a teacher, you find a teaching job. Pre-med? Med school. Accounting? Accountant. Communications? TV writer? director? producer? journalist? editor? All of the above? I don't have a set path. I mean, I'd love to be like a Ray Romano or a Tina Fey and create, produce, and act in my own TV show. Where do I start? Comedy school? Get a side job and just keep writing? Find a production assistant job and work my way up? Whatever it is, I don't know, but what I do know is that it's going to take major time to work my way to where I want to be. No one else understands this. The entertainment industry is "fluff." I'm going into an impossible world. It will never happen. I will never be able to do what I want to do. This is what people say, maybe not so directly, but they might as well.
       "So, Erica, what do you want to do with your life?"
       "Well, I'd love to be a TV writer and comedienne."
       "Oh, that's nice, what's your back-up plan?"
        Hey, I don't have one.
        I don't even really have a plan A.
        When I was in the second grade, we were having a school play. The subject was baseball. I remember, I wanted to be Britney Spears. She was my idol. She was my everything, really. To be Britney Spears, I had to make myself stand out. I had to entertain people. So finally, during music class one day, I mustered up the courage to sing "Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail" and nailed the audition to have a singing part in the school play. I was ecstatic and I knew - this was my first step to becoming Britney.
       Of course, it can't be that easy. There had to be some kind of obstacles in my way to becoming Britney Spears. And there it was. The day of the school play, I was playing tag at recess. I ran into a pole and chipped my two front teeth. That's right, I ran into a pole. The school nurse didn't even believe me. She questioned me about a hundred times. "So, you tripped and fell into the pole?" No. Nope. I ran right into it. I felt the pieces of the teeth in my mouth and spit them out and started immediately crying. Talk about Oops!
        So I cried and cried, but luckily my dentist got me in before the play and fixed my teeth and everything was fine. I was great. Probably the best rendition of Take Me Out to the Ball Game of any second grader ever. And now, every day, I look in the mirror and see that stupid cap on my tooth and I am reminded of the tragic, yet life changing experience I had with "the biz" in the second grade. I know where I want to be. I know there's a way to get there. I know there will be obstacles (hopefully I won't run into any more poles). I know that it may not work out, but in the end, I'll find my way. Whether it is in the entertainment industry, or in something else. Does anyone ever really know where there life will take them? And if we did, would we try to change it? Would life even be worth living? Diving into the unknown is the thrilling part. And I'm an adrenaline junkie, so this should be fun. Nothing is really worth fear. Fear is such an abstract feeling. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. It wasn't meant to be. If you never try because of fear, you will never get anywhere.
       This is my little insight for today. Now, I have some more Gossip Girl to watch, so if you'll excuse me. Watch our for those evil poles on the playground….or on the street.