Monday, September 24, 2012

Are There TV's in Prison?

     I was watching TV one day (big surprise right there) and this guy was in a jail cell and in his jail cell, he had a television. This moment in time changed my life. I asked my twitter followers if there actually were TV's in prison to which they answered "yes." So now, I'm beginning to think that prison cannot be so bad at all. You don't need money. You don't need to cook. You don't need to clean. You don't have to pick out an outfit every day. And....you can watch television. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to go out and commit some kind of crazy crime to put myself in jail for the rest of my life, but if I ever fall in some kind of terribly awful, horrible, no-way-out-of-it life rut, prison wouldn't be a bad option. I wonder how many channels they get in there. I wonder if you have to share a television with someone else. I wonder if the televisions have DVD players or even VHS players. Or DVRs. Can prisoners record their shows if they know they'll be making license plates or cleaning up the highway during them? I wonder if they let them watch FOX's Prison Break. Well, what does it matter? There's no way prison can be so bad if there's a television in there somewhere. But don't put yourself in jail because of this post....because that would be stupid. There aren't amusement parks in prison. And I feel like you have to go to an amusement park once in a while to really live.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Everyday is a Family Reunion

Every summer, quite a number of my friends always mention that they have to go to family reunions. And every year I think,"Why doesn't my family ever have a reunion?" And then I realized, every day in my house is a family reunion. My family is like the Barones in Everybody Loves Raymond. And my house is like Grand Central Station. The cousins are all here swimming the pool. The aunts and uncles are watching TV or playing cards. The grandparents stop by to tell us everything about everyone and talk about television and give us life advice. I rarely go a day without seeing a member of my extended family. We play giant games of knockout in the driveway. We have family relay races in the pool. We all sit around the TV to watch Notre Dame football. We all yell at the TV while watching Notre Dame football. We sit around talking about the time Nana Nealon mixed up the mashed potatoes and the alfredo sauce on Christmas Eve, and that time Grandpa Iacovazzi pushed the lawn mower all around the yard only to realize he forgot to put the blades down, and that time cousin Sean was talking to the lunch lady in his sleep. This could go on forever. Ray Barone sees his parents and his brother every day and they just waltz right in to his house, just like I just waltz right in to my grandparents houses and eat all their ham and ice cream. (Not together...although...nope never mind, that wouldn't taste good.) And you know what, I enjoy it. All my friends that are forced to go to family reunions obviously don't have the family I do. They can't sit around and talk about how their Grandpa played a guy named Oogie Pringle in a high school play, or how their Aunt Janet gave cousin Alex a birthday card which read "For you graduation..." All families must be dull in comparison to mine. I can't believe we don't have our own TV show yet.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Wake Up the Echoes

     In the wake of football season, I thought I'd share my story about the first time I went to see a Notre Dame football game at the University of Notre Dame.
     It was the kickoff game, Labor Day weekend, 2011. We left on a Thursday morning. It's a ten hour drive from NEPA to South Bend and I think I watched Rudy the whole way. The drive through PA felt like forever, but once we hit Ohio the time flew by and it constantly smelled like popcorn.
    We got into Indiana and before we went to the hotel or anything, we went to TJMaxx. If you ever go out to South Bend or anywhere for that matter, team affiliated clothing is much cheaper in TJMaxx and Marshalls than in the bookstore. After a long day, we headed to our hotel in Mishawaka, unloaded the car, then got back in...ya know...to drive some more. We wanted to see if we could find the campus at night. All I saw were tiny little homes and tumbleweed crossing the street...a complete ghost town. And then....I looked to my right and out of nowhere I spotted Touchdown Jesus. The campus is literally in the middle of nowhere. I was amazed. We drove around a little longer and finally went back to the hotel to sleep.
     Friday was a packed day. We went to the College Football Hall of Fame, where my mom's cousin, Cosmo Iacavazzi, was inducted into several years back. We went to the campus and hit the pep rally and my favorite thing ever, the trumpets under the dome. Notre Dame has such great tradition, really, unlike any other school. If I was super smart, I'd go to school there. We walked through the tunnel where the players run out on game day. We saw the band march and play the fight song. We met this awesome guy in Wal Mart who was an usher at the stadium. We ate. It was great.
      Saturday. Game day. Wake up the echoes. We put on our Notre Dame jerseys and headed to the lobby of the hotel to eat where everyone was dressed in Notre Dame or USF attire. All loaded up on bagels and orange juice, off to campus we went. The atmosphere was incredible. We walked around with a tour guide as she took us to the Grotto where we lit a candle, and under the Golden Dome where she told us the myth of the stairs outside the main building, and to the chapel, where we walked around in amazement at the gorgeous design, and to the library where Touchdown Jesus stands tall. Our tour ended and we headed to the book store, which was MOBBED. My dad got his picture taken with Ara Parseghian and got an idea for a hat when he saw a guy wearing the Golden Dome on his head while my mom, my sisters, and I bought out the whole bookstore. Then it was game time. Time to head over to the stadium. The house that Rockne built. It was like a scene right out of Rudy. I walked in and said "This is the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen."
        3:30 game time. ND is playing decently. Brian Kelly's face is beat red. We all know how that story goes. The student section becomes more entertaining than the actual game with their cheers and traditions, all in their matching blue shirts. Sitting there, at the top of the stadium, with Touchdown Jesus in the background, surrounded by my people (fellow crazy Notre Dame fans) was one of the most incredible experiences in the world.
         Then sky began to get dark. They came over the loudspeaker telling us the National Weather Service was tracking some severe weather in the area. Low and behold, just as halftime hit, we hear an announcement. "Will usher 99 please report to the press box." My dad turned right to us and said, "Oh that's probably code for something." Well, next thing you know, all 80,000 people in the stadium were evacuating, heading to the Jordan Center and the wind began to pick up and the sky grew darker. We were directed to the ice hockey rink area, of course. We went from one extreme of 90 degrees all day to the extreme cold on the ice rink. They had large screens set up where we sat for two hours watching the weather and making new friends and exploring the Jordan center.
          When they finally allowed us back in the stadium, we were starved. We went to a stand where they had cheeseburgers for an arm and a leg. Once I took a bite, I understood why it cost an arm and a leg. THERE WAS MASHED POTATOES ON THE CHEESEBURGER. These really were my people.
           We headed back to our seats were we sat on the ponchos my dad always insists on us bringing anywhere. "Hey Dad, i'm going to a concert." "Wanna bring the ponchos?" "Hey Dad I'm going to Hershey Park." "Wanna bring the ponchos?" "Hey Dad, I'm going to the mall." "Wanna bring the ponchos?" So of course, he says, "Aren't you glad we brought the ponchos?" It was a little chillier and still dark, but the crowd did not lose energy....until with two minutes left to go in the game we hear "Will usher 99 please report to the press box." Everyone in the stadium knew what it meant this time and all at once, we let out a huge "OHHHHHH NOT AGAIN." At this point, it was 9:30, pouring rain, super windy, with deathly lightning, and here the six of us are in our bright yellow ponchos,  standing at the gates of the stadium. We had to drive four hours to get to our hotel. We did not figure in the fact that severe weather would prolong the game and booked a hotel in Ohio for Saturday night figuring we'd slice the drive in half. We sadly said our goodbyes to gorgeous Notre Dame and facing death, ran to our car. The storm was moving east...of course, and followed us all the way to our hotel in Ohio, where we checked in around 2AM. But it didn't matter. We made history. First time the stadium was ever evacuated. EVER. And we did it twice....in one day. And my Fighting Irish...lost, but that's ok, I didn't have to watch that awful ending.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBedPq96kr8