Wednesday, February 13, 2013

One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, No Potatoes for 40 Days

Lent started today. So, like everyone else, I went to the Twitter and Facebook to see what I should give up. After many suggestions, I decided my good friend and neighbor Kathy gave me the best suggestion. Potatoes.
I felt like I had to give up something epic for Lent since the Pope gave up being the Pope and all. Some suggested Twitter, which would be epic, but very inconsiderate. I couldn't let my Twitter followers down by not being there for entertain them for 40 WHOLE DAYS. That's like...a lifetime.
So, we came to potatoes.
My beloved potato.
That's about as epic as we can get seeing as the name of my blog is Erica Loves Potatoes.
The potato is a part of me. It makes me who I am.
I love potatoes. This will be a challenge. It means no french fries, no chips, no mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, cheesy potatoes, roasted potatoes, eating potatoes like an apple. None of that. It will take a stupendous (wow I haven't used that word since I used to watch Barney) amount of will power. For instance, St. Patrick's Day falls during Lent. I always eat potatoes on St. Patrick's Day. It's the law. But hopefully, I will stand my ground. Say no to the delicious potato.
Bring it, St. Patrick.
I will be keeping all of you updated on my potato-less existence for the next 39 days. I know Lent is 40 days but today doesn't count because I ate potatoes at lunch.

Monday, February 11, 2013

The Old Pope

The Pope is resigning. I had no idea this was possible for a pope. I'm in a state of shock over the Pope. I thought the Pope had to die to not be the Pope any more. I just like to say the word "pope." But all this Pope talk has got me thinking. I am a member of Catholic church. I'm a bad Catholic though. Sorry Noni. My Noni goes to church every day. I go....every year. And I will never be used to that "and also with your spirit" stuff. Probably because I only have to remember it once a year. For 18 years of my life, there was no "also with your spirit." It was simple. "And also with you." Now, for the last two years they've changed it on me. Anyway, enough blubbering about my bad church-going habits. Let's talk about the Pope.
The process of picking a pope fascinates me. The cardinals go into the Sistine Chapel and I don't know what they do exactly, but a smoke signal is released and if it' black, no new pope. If the smokes turns white, hey, we have a new pope. I imagine it's like American Idol. The cardinals go in and out and people vote and white smoke means you're going to Hollywood! Or in this case, Vatican City!
I've never seen a young pope. Of course, I think there's only been two popes in my lifetime, but still. The Pope is always kinda old. Who are we kidding? The Pope is always old. This job is a lot of pressure for an old guy. I imagine that's why Pope Benedict XV something...the 16th, is leaving the Pope-acy. Nope, I don't think that's a word either. Then, on top of all the stress of running the Catholic church, especially nowadays, the Pope's gotta wear that big hat on his head. Now, I love that hat don't get me wrong. It's fabulous. But it's gotta be heavy. And the Pope never has fabulous posture. I've never seen a Pope with great posture. The only logical conclusion is that this is because of the hat. Or he is just old.
I often wonder the Pope does in every day life. Is the Pope like a regular old person? My grandparents aren't as old as the Pope, but when I go visit either of my them, both of my Grandpas are usually watching television. They do plenty of other things, too, but TV is the big one. Sound familiar? Yes. Maybe excessive TV watching runs in my family. But I just assume everyone watches a lot of TV because what else could you possibly do? Especially if you are as old as the Pope. So, does the Pope watch a lot of TV? What does he do all day? What does the Pope do in his spare time? Does the Pope have spare time? Maybe he just rides around the Vatican in the Popemobile.
Regardless of what the Pope does in his spare time, if it exists, the Pope still has a pretty tough job. The Catholic church is behind on the times, in my opinion. The Pope has to deal with this kind of criticism daily. Plus all the priests. I won't even go into that. Maybe that's why the Pope has bad posture. Under that robe he's gotta wear, he stores all the confessions from the priests. Anyway, even the President of the United States is never as old as the Pope. When someone runs for Prez and they are approaching 70, they are considered ancient and too old to handle the job. The Pope is 85. The man has lived for 85 years and now they make him run the Catholic church. At 85, unless I'm as cool as Betty White, I hope I'm well into retirement. I understand, the older, the wiser. That is, until you're so old, you don't remember to put pants on before you leave your house. I wonder if the Pope has someone helping him put his socks on. Maybe the Pope can put his own socks on.
I have many questions about the Pope.
Regardless, the Pope is old.
And maybe, cardinals, we should look for a younger Pope. Especially now.
Unless there's a rule I'm unaware of that you have to be pretty old to be a pope.


On a side note, Catholic church and new Pope, whom ever you may be, make mass more exciting. We should have a dance party....or an ice cream bar.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Blog Post

There's an epidemic in this country. And I don't need WebMD to diagnose it.
It's so bad.
Terribly bad.
Awful.
There's an epidemic of bad television show names.
It started with The Talk. I thought that was silly. The Talk? How creative. They should've just went all out and named it The Talk Show. Or CBS's Version of The View.
Now, I actually enjoy the talk. Sheryl Underwood cracks me up. But, you need a new name.
This "virus" must have caught on. There is a show on now in the middle of the day called The Chew. Ew. What kind of a name is that? Chew? Yeah, sure, I chew my food but that's such a weird word. Chew. Chew. Keep saying it to yourself. It's a weird word. What do you picture when you think of the word chew? Yeah, a mouth with a bunch of food in it. Ew. Again, I like the show. They have some good recipes on there. Not that I ever cook or anything. They have great recipes that I pass on to my mom.
Just when I thought it could end there, I see previews for a show called The Taste. It's like American Idol for chefs. Judges taste aspiring cooks' food. How creative to name the show, The Taste. I can't even believe it. It's genius. How in the world did they come up with such a great name? Gee, I don't know.
I thought it would end there. I wish it would've ended there because today I was sitting on my Noni's couch watching the local news when a preview for a new show came on where contestants compete for a job. And guess what it's called? Oh man, how did you know? It's called The Job. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?
When will this end?
I'm very worried for the television industry right now.
If they can't even think of names for shows, how in the world can they even write or create a good show?
Oooo, wait, here's a preview of the fall TV lineup: Mondays: The Sitcom. Tuesdays: The Drama. Wednesdays: The Cop Show. Thursdays: The Singing Competition. (As if we don't have enough of those) Fridays: The Reality.

When are we going to get creative again? Just a tad bit more creative. Please. Even as creative as Wings, which isn't terribly creative, but at least it wasn't called The Airline.

I have a solution.
Put me in the television business. I'm an expert.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

EMERGENCY! WebMD Says I'm Dying

     Have you ever tried to diagnose yourself using WebMD? Well I have. I use it all the time. Why? I have no idea, because every time, it scares the living day lights out of me.
    I was on today. There is probably nothing at all wrong with me. I just noticed I was very tired today and my throat hurt. Yet, this time, I also decided to include all the symptoms I have all the time. Like, for instance, insomnia or dry eyes. I put in my symptoms thinking, hey, maybe all my problems could be linked. This is what I got : It says I could have inhaled anthrax. I could have the bird flu, the Plague, ricin poisoning, West Nile Virus, acute sinusitis, appendicitis, throat cancer, toxic shock syndrome, fibromyalgia, anorexia, cocaine abuse, dehydration, dementia, vertigo, ectopic pregnancy, "exercise or physical activity" (i don't know, either), mumps, diverticulitis, ovarian cancer, common cold, scarlet fever, schizophrenia, or radiation sickness.
     What in the world?
      Now I have become unreasonably (hopefully) scared for my life.
      I of course click on each problem to see what it's all about. Some of them have giant red boxes underneath the name that say EMERGENCY. Call 911 immediately. It's possibly the scariest thing ever. Even scarier than that haunted house I went through at Dracula's Forest at Halloween.
       Every time I visit WebMD, i get results like this. It frightens me. Every time. And I never have any of these serious problems. It's usually nothing.
       I often wonder how many people call 911 and tell them that according to WebMD, I have most of the symptoms of Ricin poisoning. Is WebMD becoming a problem, tying up 911 lines? Does anyone else freak out when they go on WebMD like I do? I would imagine people have to freak out. It tells them they have a life-threatening disease. Or...like ricin poisoning, a completely fatal disease. No way of surviving. Sorry.
        I don't think I've ever eaten a ricin bean. I don't even know what a ricin bean is. Yet, I am sitting here deathly afraid that I have ricin poisoning.
       Why do I continue to put myself through this torture?
       I don't know what I'm here writing for, since it's possible I may die of the Plague soon. So I'm going to go live like it's my last day.
       Everybody Loves Raymond is on TVLand.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

18 Million Cracks

I was heartbroken in 2008 when Hillary lost the primary election. Devastated. I had followed her around for months, investing my heart and soul into that campaign. I blamed it mostly on Florida and Michigan. If they had followed the rules, she would've won. We wouldn't be here now, listening to her concession speech.


"I want to say to my supporters: When you hear people saying or think to yourself, If only, or, What if, I say, please, don't go there. Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward.
Life is too short, time is too precious, and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been. We have to work together for what still can be."
She was right. But for me,  it was so hard to get over the fact that she had lost. 
Just imagine something you invested so much time in that had failed.
But did she really fail?
18 million people voted for Hillary. 18 million. 
18 million cracks in that glass ceiling.
Throughout the campaign, I had met her twice. She came to Scranton to be in our St. Patrick's Day Parade. I followed her along the parade route. She was shaking everyone's hands and saying hello, taking pictures. I stuck my hand out. "Hello!" she said, as she shook my hand. I had no words. I couldn't say a thing. Hillary Clinton had just shaken my hand.
One morning, Hillary was making an early visit to Scranton. I dragged my mom down to the Cultural Center for 4 AM. We were third in line. Ryan Lecky came and interviewed us. There was a woman directly behind us from Bosnia who had pictures of Hillary safety pinned all over herself. It was freezing cold. But I just kept thinking, I need to talk to her. I have to say something to her this time. 
I was able to stand right in front as she was speaking. And afterwards, she came around, talking to everyone, taking pictures. She got to me and it was very chaotic. But this time, I spoke. She signed my book. I got a nice picture with her and we chatted about relatives up at Lake Winola. 
That was one of the best days of my life.
I eventually came around to supporting President Obama. He seems like a cool guy. I feel like I could sit down and talk to him about anything. And I LOVE Michelle. She just seems awesome.
Now, he's entered his second term and Hillary is stepping down as Secretary of State and the rumor mill begins swirling. Will Hillary run in 2016?
I think she's exhausted right now. She needs time off. But these articles are getting me very excited. They are bringing back that feeling I had in the 2008 election. A feeling of hope and excitement.
"To those who are disappointed that we couldn't go all of the way, especially the young people who put so much into this campaign, it would break my heart if, in falling short of my goal, I in any way discouraged any of you from pursuing yours.
Always aim high, work hard and care deeply about what you believe in. And, when you stumble, keep faith. And, when you're knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can't or shouldn't go on.
As we gather here today in this historic, magnificent building, the 50th woman to leave this Earth is orbiting overhead. If we can blast 50 women into space, we will someday launch a woman into the White House."
When Hillary was young, she wanted to be an astronaut. She wrote to NASA and they told her that women can't be astronauts.
I'm hoping we will launch that woman into the White House in the near future. Hillary 2016.

You Gotta Beliebe

     I have to explain something major. A major development in my life.
     New Year's Eve: 2000....something. This Justin Bieber kid was performing on my television screen....well my aunt's television screen. Anyway, he was like 15 and his song had two words : "baby" and "oh." I instantly laughed at this new teen sensation.
     Fast forward a few years. My sister has become a belieber. I constantly make fun of her. How in the world could you be so in love with this kid? I couldn't understand it at that time. He wears overalls to meet the Prime Minister. He waddles because his pants are down around his ankles. He can sing and dance, but I don't see much else in the kid. My dad even makes fun of him, calling him a "woos." She has posters of him all over her wall. I even took her to see him on the Today show. Granted, we could only hear him, but still. She had a sign that said "Don't Stop Beliebing." And I wanted her to be able to see him. I tried to shove my way to the front, but many Beliebers are just crazy. Like....CRAZY. Girls were crying and they couldn't even see him. I cried at my first Bon Jovi concert when Jon first graced the stage...but that's JON BON JOVI. and I could actually see him.
      Then, all of a sudden, I had this weird urge to listen to the Biebs. And it hit me. It's real. Bieber Fever. I've seen stories of people who've "caught" it. I laughed at them, like I laughed at everything else that had to do with the Biebs. But now, I don't laugh. It's not a laughing matter. It's real.
       I, me, Erica, the ultimate Bieber hater, had become a Belieber. I don't understand it. I'm listening to Bieber now. All around the worldddd, people want to be lovedddd. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?
      There's simply no other way to explain it. Bieber fever is real. And I've got it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Sweet Escape

      People always find little ways to escape life. Some ways are good, some...not so much. I've been thinking a lot about what i want to do with my life. The only things I can come up with are "Be super rich and famous" and "sit on a beach, shop, watch TV, and eat potatoes." Those are great....but, as much as I hate to say, unrealistic. I hate that word. When people ask me what I'm going to be when I "grow up," I always say "super rich and famous." Which prompts them to respond with my least favorite word besides "guestimate" because that's just a stupid word, "unrealistic."
     So then I sit around and I think that there has to be a way to become rich and famous. I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT besides luck. Luck seems to be on my side, sometimes. But my life depends on this whole being super rich and famous idea and I can't just rely on luck. I have to make my own luck. That's what all those rich CEO's say, right? Anyway, as you can see, I become stressed and annoyed and THAT is when I head to my escape route: television.
      I know I've written about TV before and how much I just love it. But I feel the need to write about it again because it's just so fabulous. I turn on the TV and all those problems disappear. I become engrossed in other people's problems instead. I analyze their lives. When LOST was on, I watched religiously. And in between episodes each week, all I would think about was LOST and what could possibly happen next. Sons of Anarchy has become my new LOST. It's my one hour escape from life. And then when the episode ends, I try to predict what could happen next and try to figure out the character's back stories and how they ended up where they are and why they are who they are. It's so much more fun to me than paying attention in class.
     Law and Order SVU Tuesdays: best day of the week, easily. This semester, of course, I have classes 9-9 on Tuesdays. It ruins my week.
     Wednesdays I watch the Middle. I like trying to relate my family to the Hecks. And Axl is just hilarious. Kinda like me.
     I'm a big 30 Rock fan and I'm sad it's coming to an end. On Thursdays, that is my escape. I transform myself in Liz Lemon, which isn't very hard, and I am a part of the show.
     And every night I watch Everybody Loves Raymond on TV Land. My favorite show ever. And I am a mix of every character. It's too perfect...and hilarious.
     That's what I like. Putting myself in television. Relating it to my life. It's easy. It's fun. It's what I like to do. Now I know there's someone out there who's said something like "Find what you love to do and figure out a way to get paid for it." So that's the goal. Goal set. Now what?

This is what I want to do in my life:
live somewhere warm
be super rich and famous
meet Oprah
eat potatoes

If there is job that requires all four, I am available. VERY available.

Ok, no more stressing about where my life is going to go. Time to escape. I'm just going to go watch The Golden Girls and pretend I'm Rose Nylund, which isn't that far of a stretch.