The Best Thing Ever

The best thing ever is ice cream. But the second best thing ever is when you find someone who understands your craziness. I consider myself crazy and outlandish. I do wacky things that most people would never do or even think of doing. Luckily, I have someone who can act like a fool with me. My cousin and absolute best friend, Lindsay. Where would I be if I didn't have Lindsay? Obviously not writing this blog post. Instead I might be writing about a chip that is shaped like Jesus, but no, my life is more interesting than that. Since I have known Lindsay since I was born, I'd say we go way back. We can discuss things that other people would not understand. Take Noni for instance. Never mind, I can't discuss my grandmother with you because you just wouldn't understand unless the person reading this is Lindsay. I recall late nights at Denny's or Ruby Tuesdays and photoshoots in a Sheetz parking lot along with sitting in fron the courthouse in Scranton admiring the beautiful people that walk by. Did I ever mention I love people watching? It brings me great joy. Anyway, I recall countless concerts and family get togethers and weird conversations that no one else would ever understand. I recall planning our futures together, like being on the Amazing Race and living in New York City and playing flash light tag in a jungle in Africa. Wait, I don't think we ever discussed that last one. "Whatever."- Uncle John. I recall a lunch date at Moe's. Oh, wait, that was today. I recall ravioli eating contests on Christmas Day. I recall adventures to nowhere, which for some reason reminded me that I really want to go the Manning's farm. Anyway, Linds, I know you are reading this because I know you read my blog along with everyone else who cares about me, (oh., wait, I'm the Robert Barone of the family) thanks for being around and laughing at my dumb jokes and taking me everywhere and providing me with fond memories and thanks especially for being your crazy self, because, I'd be lost without you. (It would be really cool to be on the show LOST, if it was still on. it would be even cooler if I knew what happened in that show even though I watched every episode)

Mattress King

I ponder many things in life. What is the meaning of life? What is beyond space? What was before the beginning of time? What is nothing? Why did the cowboys get kicked off The Amazing Race? But the one that puzzles me the most is, why are there so many mattress stores? I feel like every where I go there are tons of mattress stores. At the Shoppes at Montage alone there are at least two mattress stores, unless another has popped up since I've been there last. Yesterday I was in King of Prussia and in a mile stretch there were three mattress stores. Are people really buying that many mattresses? Do they make disposable mattresses like my disposable cameras? I've never heard of anyone using a mattress once and then throwing it away. I don't see piles of mattresses on the bottom of people's driveways on garbage days. I suppose if you had bed bugs, sure get rid of your mattresses. But, how many people really have bed bugs? How many people even buy a new mattress every year? This puzzles the crap out of me. Every where I look I see a Sleepy's or a Mattress World or a Mattress King. How do they stay in business? If someone has an answer I would love to know. If these stores are making an enormous profit somehow, maybe I'll open one. And a Cheesecake Factory. We need one of those around here.

I'm Moving

It may be a weird concept to think about for some folk, but, it would be very possible to live in Sam's Club. Just the other day I was there. I was getting some photos developed and waiting for them to fill a prescription. I saw that they were showing King Kong on a TV in the back. Of course, I sat down on the nice brand new couch placed perfectly in front of the TV. That is when I noticed a free sample woman giving out, (well what do ya know) free samples of popcorn! I went over and grabbed some and immediately resumed watching King Kong. I also realized about an hour into the movie, that I could indeed control the DVD player. There was no other King Kong viewers nearby so I went up and hit pause to check out the store for more free samples. Bagel Bites, a new kind of Gatorade, even gum were among the many free samples I was receiving. I also went to the food counter and bought the hot dog combo for $1.70, which I loved because you get one of those giant cups that you can just keep refilling because nobody cares. So, buffet in hand, I headed back over to my own personal movie theatre in the back and continued to watch King Kong until my mother came over to inform me that she wanted to go to Lowe's and Home Depot. Can someone say BORING?! So I somehow convinced her to let me stay and finish the movie, which is a very long one I might add, and that was my fun for the day. I would love to live in Sam's Club. They have every gaming system, a wide variety of food, many TV's, free samples, lockers and showers in the employee locker room (which I have never snuck into), and very nice, remodeled bathrooms. At Thanksgiving, they pretty much free sample a Thanksgiving dinner, with turkey and mashed potatoes and even chocolate cake. I have learned over the years that Thursday is the best free sample day, just so ya know, whoever reads this, probably nobody. I think that may be a run on sentence. Oh well, that's it. I'm moving Sam's Club.