Oh Wow That's Awkward

    You know what's awkward? When you hold the door open for someone, yet they are an awkward distance away and so then, they do that funny run to the door. That's awkward. It's like when you let someone cross the road while your in your car, and they do that funny run across the street that's like a half run half walk.
    You know what else is awkward? When someone says hey or hello and you say hey back and they were not at all talking to you. They have a bluetooth in their ear (which is always AWKWARD)  (Also, is this 2006?) or they were talking to someone behind you, or next to you. You just try to make it look like you never said anything and immediately look the other way.
    Which brings me to waving. I hate waving unless someone is waving and yelling "HEY ERICA!" Waving to people is the most awkward thing ever. When someone waves in even remotely the same direction you are standing, you never have any idea if they are waving to you are not. If they are waving to you and you don't wave back....AWKWARD. If they are not waving to you and you wave back, AWKWARD. So if you're gonna wave to me, yell my name.
    When you can't hear people, that's always awkward. And I hate saying, "excuse me" a thousand times so then I just say, "uh-huh, yeah." And thennnnn we end up in the awkward puffy shirt "I don't wanna be a pirate!" Seinfeld situation.
      When you sneak a picture of someone funny or something stupid and the flash goes off. AWKWARD. This has happened to me countless times, in class, in Walmart, in The Cheesecake Factory.
      I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond today (surprise surprise) and Amy came in Ray's house after that horrible situation with the janitor and his kid (season 9 for reference) and said "What? Did your mother come in and make things worse as usual?" not realizing that Marie was behind the door. I'm sure basically everyone in the entire world has been in this AWKWARD situation. Oops.
      I read a story today about a lady who got stuck in a chimney after attempting to sneak into an ex-boyfriend's house. Obviously AWKWARD. The fire department had to rescue her. Totally awkward all around.
      People always get my name wrong. They spell it with a k. I don't know how to correct this, especially if it's gone on for a while. Or…when people message me on Facebook "Hey Erika." My name is literally right above. How do you get this wrong? And then when people say "Nealson" or "Nelson." Where is there an S in Nealon? Where do you see it? Nowhere. The most awkward situation is when people call you the wrong name, especially if you correct them once and then the next time they still say the wrong name. I get "Erin" all the time. My name is not Erin. Stop calling me Erin. Stop spelling my name with k and saying Nealson. Stop making this AWKWARD.
      You know what else is awkward? Public bathrooms. Need I say more? Especially if someone tries to open the door of the stall you are in. Helloooo don't you see my shoes? I don't think people just leave their shoes in public bathroom stalls.
       When you are in your car and some butt head cuts you off and then gets stopped next to you at the red light. HA I find this hilarious but talk about AWKWARD for that stupid guy. He's over there trying so hard not to make eye contact while I'm cracking up laughing.
       Speaking of cars, I often sing in my car like I am Celine Dion. It becomes AWKWARD when you are stopped at a red light and everyone stares at you. Even worse if your windows are down and they can hear you. One time I stopped at a light in a construction zone listening to Bey and Jay Z Part II On the Run and the windows were down as I was rapping (yes, rapping) and the construction worker told me to work it and turn it up because obviously I'm not Celine Dion. Or Jay Z.

    Now, I'll start with some more personal awkward situations that have happened to me, and in one case, my sister in real life.

    I am a waitress. I am sure all waitresses can relate to this. When I am out to eat and the waiter or waitress walks up to my table, the talking at the table usually comes to a halt. Well, apparently, not all people follow this. When I as the waitress walk up to a table and they continue to talk, talk about AWKWARD. I usually stand there for a second before I say anything to see if they will stop, but if they don't, then I just look like an idiot. Then, I have to awkwardly interrupt their conversation. And what's even worse is when they keep going. I never ever know what the protocol here is. I just talk and pray at the same time that they will shut up so I can get their orders in and give them their food so they don't complain that they've been there an hour and have had nothing to eat yet. Not my fault, lady chattily.
    Once, I had to dress as the Easter bunny for work. I was on a hopping break, chilling in the locker room, when I heard footsteps. Someone was coming in the ladies locker room to use the bathroom. It was a mom and her little kid. There is nothing you can say to a little kid when she sees you in the Easter bunny body without the head. Nothing at all. Think about it. There's nothing. You just scarred that kid for life. Talk about awkward. And life ruining.
     I took my sister to confession because we are good Catholics (actually, you just have to do that before Confirmation) and toward the end, the priest went to bless her. As he raised his hand to do his Father, Son, Holy Spirit bit, SHE GAVE HIM A HIGH FIVE. The priest thought it was hilarious, but still, holy awkward.