SHUTDOWN

I was with the rest of the nation last night tuning into Dick Clark's Government Shutdown Rockin' Eve hosted by Ryan Seacrest, counting down to the first government shutdown in 17 years. It seems as if Congress is taking the end of Breaking Bad pretty...badly. Though this is a serious situation, my Twitter friends and I were having a ball with it. It was fairly entertaining. And what's even better is that right at midnight, Lifetime began showing Hocus Pocus. Best government shutdown ever!
Also at midnight, Google changed their header to a collage for Yosemite National Park for its 123rd anniversary. Hilarious much? It's the park's 123rd anniversary, and congratulations! SHUTDOWN.
Anyway, I saw many "myths" going around about what will happen during a government shutdown. I'll let you decide which are myths and which are facts.

No mail service.
The reflection pool will be drained and turned in a skate park.
Free HBO Go accounts.
No more student loans!
Sarah Palin's view of Russia will be blocked.
All copies of National Treasure will be ceased.
Joe Biden's hair and makeup team declared "super-essential."
Abe Lincoln will leave his chair.
In an effort to balance the budget, postal service will increase cost of a first class stamp to 16.8 trillion dollars.
Who you gonna call? Not the Ghostbusters. They've been SHUTDOWN.
Big Bird will be put on leave.
Mitt Romney's car elevator will be SHUTDOWN.
Obamacare will be delayed.
The National Zoo animals' paychecks will be delayed.
Ted Cruz will be giving toasts at every wedding.
Air traffic controllers will be allowed nap time.
No more re-runs of The West Wing will be shown until further notice.
You will know longer be able to use the "John Hancock" phrase.
The Illuminati will begin takeover.
The heads on Mount Rushmore will roll off like that meatball on top of your spaghetti all covered in cheese.


Ok, none of those are actually true. But really, we can shut down the government and we still can't give that silly rabbit some Trix? This is absurd.