The Winners of the World

I was in Wal Mart late one night with my Aunt. It was after 11, when Wal Mart turns into Mexico where no one speaks English and everyone's trying to sell you drugs. Why was I there? I have no idea, but I was. I was standing in the checkout line, minding my own business. There was a lady in the line diagonal to me with this ridiculous hat on. I did not question it, seeing as it was after 11 and anything is possible after 11PM in a Wal Mart.  The hat was the least of the ridiculousness of that night.
So, there I am, watching the cashier scan my items when I noticed the cashier checking out the lady with the ridiculous hat acting funny. She was pointing to ridiculous hat lady (RHL)'s forehead and saying something. So, being the nosy person I am, I shimmied closer to hear what was going on.
"Ma'am, you have something running down your forehead."
"No, no, no." RHL said in her weird Indian/Jamaican/Spanish accent. She was waving her hands frantically.
"Ma'am, it looks like your bleeding."
"NO NO NO no speak English." The cashier pointed to RHL's forehead and said it again, "Ma'am, you have something running down your forehead!" The cashier called a security guard over and at this point, RHL had gathered an audience. If you had walked in Wal Mart, you would've thought there was a street performer at Register 14 with all the people crowded around it in a circle.
You could tell all RHL wanted to do was pay for her flashlight and leave. She did not have time for this security stuff.
The security guy came over and asked the woman to remove her hat. RHL held on to her hat for dear life and pulled it down over her face.
"Ma'am, you're going to have to remove your hat."
RHL lady frantically shook her head shouting, "NO NO NO NO NO"
The security guy took her arms and she resisted at first, but then lowered them. He removed her ridiculous hat to reveal a roast. Yes, like...meat. The blood from the roast was dripping down her forehead.
Why am I always present when things like this happen?
You can't make this stuff up.
Why was she buying a flash light? Why wouldn't she just stuff that in her hat too?
This is what happens in Wal Mart after 11.
These are the winners of the world.