I am a frequenter of the Chinese buffets in town. I love these Chinese buffets. They don't just have Chinese food. I can mix mac and cheese with orange chicken and some pudding and piece of pizza. But I realized the other day when I joined my Grandpa for lunch at the Chinese buffet that I had been doing the buffet thing all wrong.
Usually when I go to the buffet, I stuff everything I possibly can on one plate and then sit down and eat it. My french fries are covered in soy sauce. The sweet and sour sauce for the sweet and sour chicken is every where but on the chicken. Where is the sense in this? I am at a buffet. I can go back for as many plates as I want. Why should mix it all together, pile everything on top of each other?
My Grandpa is what I refer to as a "Professional Buffet Eater." A term I didn't know should have existed until I joined him at the buffet. He begins with his fish plate. Mainly shrimp. Then he moves to fruit. Then his main course, which consisted of stuffed clams and mushrooms among other things. He had never known about the Hibachi part, so my cousin introduced him to that and he added spicy chicken, shrimp, steak, and noodles to his entree. Then he moved on to his usual dessert of pudding and jello squares. What a genius. Why have I never thought to do that? THAT is how you work the buffet. You would think that through all my buffet experience, I would have picked this up by now. It seems like common sense.
A buffet is a place to sample things. It's all you can eat. And you can have an unlimited amount of plates. So try every ice cream flavor without mixing them all together. And eat non-soy-sauce soaked fried zucchini. Try your Chinese donut without sweet and sour sauce and cheese and rice all over it. Transform yourself from an amateur buffet go-er to a professional, like my grandfather. The ultimate buffet pro.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
I've Never Injured Myself Using A Cotton Swab
I just saw a commercial for this product called the "Wax Vac" or something of that nature. It cleans your ears. The commercials starts by talking about how using cotton swabs to clean your ears is "dangerous" and whatever. Then, they proceed to show a man cleaning his ear with a Q tip and then screaming "OUCH!" Now, I don't know about any of you, but I've never injured myself using a cotton swab. And at this....I laughed. I laughed way harder than anyone should while watching a commercial not meant to be funny. A serious commercial that is trying to sell you something.
I've seen plenty of these types of commercials. They're hilarious. Doesn't the maker of the product realize how ridiculous the commercials make the product look?
I saw another one just before the Wax Vac in which people are complaining that when they sit down for long periods of time, their "back and bottom" hurt. So...what is the commercial's answer to this problem? This little foam pillow with gel in the middle or something. It's called Forever Comfy. You just put it on the seat and VOILA! No pain. Now, I see how this thing can solve that awful pain on your butt, but your back? Not making much sense to me. Then there's this older guy who is sitting at his computer in major pain from sitting too long. Then he gets the pillow thing and he is just super happy and typing away and making that "you go girl" gesture at the computer screen. You just have to laugh. There's no other way. I guess you could also yell at the TV, "If your butt really hurts from sitting for hours, why don't you get up off your lazy bum for a little while?" There, problem solved.
All of these great commercials....from the Sauna Pants to the Snuggie commercials where everyone is wearing snuggies literally every where and they are all dancing in them....are just great entertainment for people like me. They provide good laughs and great conversation. I don't know if that's what the sellers have intended. If so, they're doing a fabulous job.
One of my favorite commercials, which I actually haven't seen in a while, is the Hover Round commercial. Now I can go go go in my Hover Round. Indoors, outdoors, all over town! And there's just old people everywhere riding their Hover Round, enjoying life. There are choregraphed Hover Round dances, with everyone in circles riding around. And what makes it even better is that the man who invented the Hover Round appears in the commercials and his name is Tom Kruse. This commercial is just GOLD. Old people riding their Hover Rounds in the woods, in the mall, by fountains, in the old folk's homes. Everyone every where in this ad has a hover round. In the woods, in the mall, by the fountains, in the old folk's homes, everyone has a Hover Round and a smile. AND it comes with an in home test certification....whatever that means.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go put on my Trendy Top and Cami Secret because regular camis are just too annoying and make the perfect Tortilla for dinner, use my Hot Buns to get the perfect bun....or curly hair, take some money out of my Fanny Bank, and go to Boscov's and buy a purse organizer in every color and some Pajama Jeans. Because...who wouldn't want Jeans made out of sweatpants?
I've seen plenty of these types of commercials. They're hilarious. Doesn't the maker of the product realize how ridiculous the commercials make the product look?
I saw another one just before the Wax Vac in which people are complaining that when they sit down for long periods of time, their "back and bottom" hurt. So...what is the commercial's answer to this problem? This little foam pillow with gel in the middle or something. It's called Forever Comfy. You just put it on the seat and VOILA! No pain. Now, I see how this thing can solve that awful pain on your butt, but your back? Not making much sense to me. Then there's this older guy who is sitting at his computer in major pain from sitting too long. Then he gets the pillow thing and he is just super happy and typing away and making that "you go girl" gesture at the computer screen. You just have to laugh. There's no other way. I guess you could also yell at the TV, "If your butt really hurts from sitting for hours, why don't you get up off your lazy bum for a little while?" There, problem solved.
All of these great commercials....from the Sauna Pants to the Snuggie commercials where everyone is wearing snuggies literally every where and they are all dancing in them....are just great entertainment for people like me. They provide good laughs and great conversation. I don't know if that's what the sellers have intended. If so, they're doing a fabulous job.
One of my favorite commercials, which I actually haven't seen in a while, is the Hover Round commercial. Now I can go go go in my Hover Round. Indoors, outdoors, all over town! And there's just old people everywhere riding their Hover Round, enjoying life. There are choregraphed Hover Round dances, with everyone in circles riding around. And what makes it even better is that the man who invented the Hover Round appears in the commercials and his name is Tom Kruse. This commercial is just GOLD. Old people riding their Hover Rounds in the woods, in the mall, by fountains, in the old folk's homes. Everyone every where in this ad has a hover round. In the woods, in the mall, by the fountains, in the old folk's homes, everyone has a Hover Round and a smile. AND it comes with an in home test certification....whatever that means.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go put on my Trendy Top and Cami Secret because regular camis are just too annoying and make the perfect Tortilla for dinner, use my Hot Buns to get the perfect bun....or curly hair, take some money out of my Fanny Bank, and go to Boscov's and buy a purse organizer in every color and some Pajama Jeans. Because...who wouldn't want Jeans made out of sweatpants?
Thursday, December 20, 2012
End of the World, the Rapture, 2012, Whatever
If this whole 2012 end of the world Mayan calendar thing is true, then ALERT: you are running out of time to complete your bucket list. Don't worry, you're not alone. I'm running out of time too. Some of the things on my list I will definitely be able to do, but some are worrying me. For instance, I don't know if I have the time to travel to Italy, Ireland, Australia, Greece, Egypt, South Africa, Mars, L.A., Las Vegas, any where in Texas or Alabama, or Disneyworld. Yes, that's right, I've never been to Disneyworld...or land. I also still have to meet Oprah and tell Meryl Streep that I want her to play me in my biopic because we all know Meryl Streep is not human and will still be alive when my biopic is made....unless the world ends.
But for real, the world is allegedly ending tomorrow. And I throw allegedly in there because no one knows for sure and I'm pretty sure it ain't gonna happen. But it still makes me realize all of the things that I haven't done yet. Hopefully, I have the time to do them all, but some of them are going to require some extra time.
I still haven't auditioned for American Idol. And I know I can't sing, I just want to audition just to be able to say. "I auditioned for American Idol."
I've never left the country. I've been to Hawaii. But that's still the US of A.
I still haven't seen the Lincoln movie.
I have not seen Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Pink, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Christina Aguilera, or Pitbull in concert. I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them right now.
I still haven't been to a taping of a sitcom. Any sitcom.
I haven't driven cross country.
I never got to tell Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira that we all share a birthday.
I started to learn how to golf, but I'm not at pro-level yet....or any level.
I still haven't met many of the famous people I want to meet.
I've wanted to travel the world to ride all the great roller coasters. I've only ever traveled to Hershey Park.
I still have never been on a cruise.
I want to go to Atlantis and be like Mary Kate in Ashley in that one Mary Kate and Ashley movie.
I've never been to a Costco. And I hear it's like Sam's Club....but better. I really can't even imagine that.
I still want to fill a Windex bottle with blue gatorade and walk around spraying it in my mouth in public.
I have never tried to go up the down escalator...or vice versa.
I want to be in a movie.
I would love to swim with sharks. Not in one of those cage things. That's lame. Actually just swim with sharks.
I don't think this is even possible but we're on the marine life subject and I've always wondered what it would be like to be a killer whale like Free Willy. Or a lion. Lions live on land, but still.
Be a seat filler at the Oscars. Ya know, before I actually get invited to go to the Oscars and accept all my awards that will come someday.
Go scuba diving.
Learn to surf.
Learn how to play bridge. I used to sort of know...but I've lost a lot of that knowledge because it's been a while.
I would like to be a princess.
Meet the Queen.
Be a Queen.
Ok, this list can go on forever and ever and ever I'm sure of it. But I won't bore you all with my life goals. And in the words of the late great Donna Summer, "Let's dance the last dance."
I'm sure those lyrics have something to do with this post.
But for real, the world is allegedly ending tomorrow. And I throw allegedly in there because no one knows for sure and I'm pretty sure it ain't gonna happen. But it still makes me realize all of the things that I haven't done yet. Hopefully, I have the time to do them all, but some of them are going to require some extra time.
I still haven't auditioned for American Idol. And I know I can't sing, I just want to audition just to be able to say. "I auditioned for American Idol."
I've never left the country. I've been to Hawaii. But that's still the US of A.
I still haven't seen the Lincoln movie.
I have not seen Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Pink, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Christina Aguilera, or Pitbull in concert. I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them right now.
I still haven't been to a taping of a sitcom. Any sitcom.
I haven't driven cross country.
I never got to tell Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira that we all share a birthday.
I started to learn how to golf, but I'm not at pro-level yet....or any level.
I still haven't met many of the famous people I want to meet.
I've wanted to travel the world to ride all the great roller coasters. I've only ever traveled to Hershey Park.
I still have never been on a cruise.
I want to go to Atlantis and be like Mary Kate in Ashley in that one Mary Kate and Ashley movie.
I've never been to a Costco. And I hear it's like Sam's Club....but better. I really can't even imagine that.
I still want to fill a Windex bottle with blue gatorade and walk around spraying it in my mouth in public.
I have never tried to go up the down escalator...or vice versa.
I want to be in a movie.
I would love to swim with sharks. Not in one of those cage things. That's lame. Actually just swim with sharks.
I don't think this is even possible but we're on the marine life subject and I've always wondered what it would be like to be a killer whale like Free Willy. Or a lion. Lions live on land, but still.
Be a seat filler at the Oscars. Ya know, before I actually get invited to go to the Oscars and accept all my awards that will come someday.
Go scuba diving.
Learn to surf.
Learn how to play bridge. I used to sort of know...but I've lost a lot of that knowledge because it's been a while.
I would like to be a princess.
Meet the Queen.
Be a Queen.
Ok, this list can go on forever and ever and ever I'm sure of it. But I won't bore you all with my life goals. And in the words of the late great Donna Summer, "Let's dance the last dance."
I'm sure those lyrics have something to do with this post.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Climbing the Wall of Fears
I tried something new today. I tried rock climbing.
Well, it wasn't totally new. I tried it once in the 6th grade at Camp St. Andrew. Did I ever mention that I am deathly afraid of heights? Well, I started climbing and I was fine at first because the wall was diagonal until you got to a certain point. Completely vertical. This is when the tears began to flow. I cried and cried the rest of the way up the wall as my camp friends from below kept yelling, "You can do it, Erica!" and "Keep going! You're almost there!" But anyway, I don't really like to talk about that experience.
And gladly, today went a little better than that day, the summer of the 6th grade. I am writing an article for the college paper on the rock climbing club, which I didn't even know existed. So tonight, I decided to do a Sara Haines type news segment and talk to some rock climbers and just try it myself. Well, I was fine with this idea, until I was walking toward the gym. I kept having flashbacks of the rock wall at camp...the crying, the screaming, the kicking. (It was really only just crying.) I walked in and started chit chatting with my new rock climber friends and they walked me through everything. But he said one thing that scared me. "If you're not like...the ultimate couch potato, you'll be fine." Well, funny, I was watching Married with Children earlier that day and Al came in the house and Peg was sleeping on the couch with chip bags all over her and her arm stretched across her forehead with chocolate bon bons in her hand and Oprah blasting from the television. Well, this was the image of myself that popped into my mind. But I went with it anyway. I figured I can't back out now. It'd be like those people who are in line for a roller coaster and then they chicken out and do that walk of shame back through the line. I feel bad for those people, but I don't want to be one of them.
I started on the "easy" side of the rock wall. They told me that usually, when they get to the top, they touch, not just the top rock, but the top of the rock wall for ultimate victory pretty much. All I thought was, "Yeah, that'll never happen for me." I walked up the wall and stood there for a second, collected my thoughts and nerves, and there I went. I was doing just dandy until about 3/4th of the way up, when I realized how high up I was. I was not going to cry this time. Instead, I just started shaking. But I kept going. I couldn't believe what I was doing. Straighten my legs, reach for the next rock. Straighten my legs, reach for the next rock. I hit that top rock, the yellow rock. From my new friends down below, I could hear "Touch the top of the wall! You can do it!"And with all my might, I straightened my legs and threw myself up to the top of the wall. It was incredible. I let go and came swinging down and when I hit the ground, my legs just slid and I sat right down.
I don't know what I was thinking, but I decided to try a step up. Take on the next level of climbing. Well, needless to say, I did not make it up to the top on this one, but at least I tried. I fell once, fell twice, then decided...I'll try again some other times. I never knew I had muscles in my forearms, but THEY WERE KILLING ME. I can't wait to see how they feel tomorrow.
Anyway, go out and try something new today. You will feel like a better person, and you may discover things you never knew existed. And sort of overcome your fear of heights....or whatever your fears may be.
Well, it wasn't totally new. I tried it once in the 6th grade at Camp St. Andrew. Did I ever mention that I am deathly afraid of heights? Well, I started climbing and I was fine at first because the wall was diagonal until you got to a certain point. Completely vertical. This is when the tears began to flow. I cried and cried the rest of the way up the wall as my camp friends from below kept yelling, "You can do it, Erica!" and "Keep going! You're almost there!" But anyway, I don't really like to talk about that experience.
And gladly, today went a little better than that day, the summer of the 6th grade. I am writing an article for the college paper on the rock climbing club, which I didn't even know existed. So tonight, I decided to do a Sara Haines type news segment and talk to some rock climbers and just try it myself. Well, I was fine with this idea, until I was walking toward the gym. I kept having flashbacks of the rock wall at camp...the crying, the screaming, the kicking. (It was really only just crying.) I walked in and started chit chatting with my new rock climber friends and they walked me through everything. But he said one thing that scared me. "If you're not like...the ultimate couch potato, you'll be fine." Well, funny, I was watching Married with Children earlier that day and Al came in the house and Peg was sleeping on the couch with chip bags all over her and her arm stretched across her forehead with chocolate bon bons in her hand and Oprah blasting from the television. Well, this was the image of myself that popped into my mind. But I went with it anyway. I figured I can't back out now. It'd be like those people who are in line for a roller coaster and then they chicken out and do that walk of shame back through the line. I feel bad for those people, but I don't want to be one of them.
I started on the "easy" side of the rock wall. They told me that usually, when they get to the top, they touch, not just the top rock, but the top of the rock wall for ultimate victory pretty much. All I thought was, "Yeah, that'll never happen for me." I walked up the wall and stood there for a second, collected my thoughts and nerves, and there I went. I was doing just dandy until about 3/4th of the way up, when I realized how high up I was. I was not going to cry this time. Instead, I just started shaking. But I kept going. I couldn't believe what I was doing. Straighten my legs, reach for the next rock. Straighten my legs, reach for the next rock. I hit that top rock, the yellow rock. From my new friends down below, I could hear "Touch the top of the wall! You can do it!"And with all my might, I straightened my legs and threw myself up to the top of the wall. It was incredible. I let go and came swinging down and when I hit the ground, my legs just slid and I sat right down.
I don't know what I was thinking, but I decided to try a step up. Take on the next level of climbing. Well, needless to say, I did not make it up to the top on this one, but at least I tried. I fell once, fell twice, then decided...I'll try again some other times. I never knew I had muscles in my forearms, but THEY WERE KILLING ME. I can't wait to see how they feel tomorrow.
Anyway, go out and try something new today. You will feel like a better person, and you may discover things you never knew existed. And sort of overcome your fear of heights....or whatever your fears may be.
Monday, November 12, 2012
My One Piece of Life Advice
Many people tell me that I do the coolest things. I am never in one spot. I'm always in New York or Atlantic City or Hershey or where ever. I always seem to be having fun, even if I am at work. This always confuses me. Sure, I do cool things.....why don't you? You have one life, live it. Take chances. Don't hold back. I suppose I've learned to live my life to the fullest as some may say. I just have fun. Like Arthur. Why should we take every thing so seriously? Why do we hold back? If you want to do something, do it now. You never know when your time is up....or someone else's.
I suppose I learned all of this from one incident in my life. I had always wanted to attend the taping of the Oprah's favorite things episode of her talk show. I kept saying, "Oh well, I'll go next year." The next year came, and I would say the same thing. THEN, that awful day came when Oprah announced she was leaving daytime TV and starting her own network. This was possibly the worst news of my life. I would never be able to attend a taping of Oprah's Favorite Things. I would never get a car or old lady sweaters or You've Got Mail in DVD format or a trip to Australia with Oprah and John Travolta. I had put off doing the one thing that was at the top of my bucket list. WHY DID I DO THIS? Why didn't I just do it when I wanted to do it? Why did I hold back? Why have I still not actually met Oprah? (that is irrelevant...sort of. oh well) What is this "waiting" thing? There is no time for waiting in life! (Unless you are waiting in line for the Sky Rush at Hershey Park, that's a different story and it is totally worth it.) If you want to do something, DO IT NOW. Don't put it off. You never know when Oprah may cancel her own show and start her OWN network on a channel in which I don't even get.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Erica's Black Friday Shopping Tips
Black Friday. It's one of my favorite days of the year. The crazy crowds, the amazing deals, the real start to Christmas. I've become quite the professional Black Friday shopper over the years and I would like to share some of my tips with you.
First, I'll tell you a little about my Black Friday experience. I start out Thanksgiving night at the The Crossings outlets in Tannersville, which open at midnight. I then work my way back to Dickson City and hit all of those places and any other place I'd like to go to. That is pretty much my day, simplified.
And these are my tips to you, fellow Black Friday shoppers.
1. Train. Start now if you haven't started yet. You basically have to be like the lady in the red jumpsuit in the Target commercials. Nowadays, many stores do not just open at 5AM, they begin their sales at midnight. The biggest thing is tailoring your sleep schedule. I work on this all year round. You must be able to run without sleep for at least 36 hours, unless you are able to sneak a nap in on Thanksgiving day. Make sure your legs are up to the test. It is a lot of walking, running, and standing around. Get on that elliptical. You will need strong arms to push people out of your way, as well. Strong hearing for when the cashier says, "I'm open at 16!" Strong eyes for spotting the perfect deals. And most importantly, a strong mind to make quick decisions and not let anyone get you down. I use the Game Show Network for this type of training. of the brain.
2. On Thanksgiving, it is important to eat turkey early. If you eat turkey too late, it will make you tired during peak shopping hours.
3. Pack leftover turkey to go. Wear a coat with a lot of pockets or bring a large purse (also good tool to push people out of the way). Don't you dare eat the turkey sandwiches yourself. Give them to fellow shoppers in line or in the stores. It will make them tired while you are drinking your coca-cola mixed with red bull. (it tastes like candy!)
4. If you can, go to the stores before Black Friday. For stores like Target or Walmart, map out your must have product path. For clothing stores and such, go to the store and see if there is anything you know you will want that night. You cannot do this too early before Black Friday, as many stores will change their layout and may have new items. Make note of where each thing is and the original price.
5. Always bring friends. The more the merrier. Especially when there are long lines. When I am at the Crossings for example, as soon as we get in the store, one person stands in line while the rest shop. Every 15 minutes, we rotate. Some lines you may be standing in for 2 hours or more.
6. Check out the ads. The ads come out for a reason. To see the ads earlier than Thanksgiving day, head to blackfriday.info. This will make it easy to compare prices at different places and figure out what it is you are setting out to buy that day.
7. Look into VIP Shopper's Clubs. The Crossings has one. I am a member, of course. You will be piling deal on top of deal with these things. They will let you know if the stores open earlier. For instance, some stores may open at 10PM on Thanksgiving night. If you are not a member of the VIP Shoppers' Club, chances are, you won't know that. Also, pay attention to the VIP coupons. They can all be added to the actual Black Friday deals, but watch out. Some are only good from midnight -5AM or 5AM-9AM. Plan accordingly.
8. Dress in layers. It is easier to take off than put on. It gets very cold. Coldest time being 4AM. It is also a good idea to keep a warm pitcher of tea or hot chocolate or coffee (of course, not decaf) in the car.
9. Bring a sick friend with you to infect everyone else. Make sure they don't stand too close to you and you'll be on top of your game while everyone else....won't be.
10. Feet and hand warmers. Go buy em.
11. If you like waffles or not, you will get an intense craving for waffles around 5AM. No time to stop at Perkins, so put some waffles in your pocket.
12. Don't be afraid to push. There are nasty people out there. They will spit on you. They will beat you up. But don't take their crap. Push them, shove them, make them get out of your way and that sweater or big screen TV will be yours. (Don't spit back at them, it may get you taken into custody...or just taken out of the store...opposite effect of what you want)
13. If it's possible, grab a shopping cart. Easy to store things (just keep an eye on it, there are some nasty thieves out there) and perfect for pushing people out of the way.
14. It is important to wear comfortable shoes and clothes with lots of pockets. You never know what you may need on that day. Pack some silly string to distract other shoppers from grabbing YOUR new GPS.
15. Make a list of what you plan to get that night. Many deals for me are spontaneous and I just end up buying a lot of extra stuff, but it is a good idea to have a list of what exactly you are looking for that night. Put it in one of those many pockets you will have.
16. You must have eyes everywhere. People will take things right out of your hand if you are not paying attention.
17. DONT FALL ASLEEP YOU MUST STAY AWAKE. Keep thinking, "Good stuff cheap," like the Ollie's motto, but better stuff than what you may find in an Ollie's.
18. Don't stress yourself out. Everyone seems to make this mistake. If you are having fun, you will have a much better Black Friday experience.
19. Dress like a superstar. I know it can be hard to dress warm and with a lot of pockets AND like a superstar, but dress like one and people will think you are one. They will be distracted by how amazing you look and will feel self conscious about themselves in their pajamas. It will throw them off their game.
20. Finally, remember, you idolize this woman.
First, I'll tell you a little about my Black Friday experience. I start out Thanksgiving night at the The Crossings outlets in Tannersville, which open at midnight. I then work my way back to Dickson City and hit all of those places and any other place I'd like to go to. That is pretty much my day, simplified.
And these are my tips to you, fellow Black Friday shoppers.
1. Train. Start now if you haven't started yet. You basically have to be like the lady in the red jumpsuit in the Target commercials. Nowadays, many stores do not just open at 5AM, they begin their sales at midnight. The biggest thing is tailoring your sleep schedule. I work on this all year round. You must be able to run without sleep for at least 36 hours, unless you are able to sneak a nap in on Thanksgiving day. Make sure your legs are up to the test. It is a lot of walking, running, and standing around. Get on that elliptical. You will need strong arms to push people out of your way, as well. Strong hearing for when the cashier says, "I'm open at 16!" Strong eyes for spotting the perfect deals. And most importantly, a strong mind to make quick decisions and not let anyone get you down. I use the Game Show Network for this type of training. of the brain.
2. On Thanksgiving, it is important to eat turkey early. If you eat turkey too late, it will make you tired during peak shopping hours.
3. Pack leftover turkey to go. Wear a coat with a lot of pockets or bring a large purse (also good tool to push people out of the way). Don't you dare eat the turkey sandwiches yourself. Give them to fellow shoppers in line or in the stores. It will make them tired while you are drinking your coca-cola mixed with red bull. (it tastes like candy!)
4. If you can, go to the stores before Black Friday. For stores like Target or Walmart, map out your must have product path. For clothing stores and such, go to the store and see if there is anything you know you will want that night. You cannot do this too early before Black Friday, as many stores will change their layout and may have new items. Make note of where each thing is and the original price.
5. Always bring friends. The more the merrier. Especially when there are long lines. When I am at the Crossings for example, as soon as we get in the store, one person stands in line while the rest shop. Every 15 minutes, we rotate. Some lines you may be standing in for 2 hours or more.
6. Check out the ads. The ads come out for a reason. To see the ads earlier than Thanksgiving day, head to blackfriday.info. This will make it easy to compare prices at different places and figure out what it is you are setting out to buy that day.
7. Look into VIP Shopper's Clubs. The Crossings has one. I am a member, of course. You will be piling deal on top of deal with these things. They will let you know if the stores open earlier. For instance, some stores may open at 10PM on Thanksgiving night. If you are not a member of the VIP Shoppers' Club, chances are, you won't know that. Also, pay attention to the VIP coupons. They can all be added to the actual Black Friday deals, but watch out. Some are only good from midnight -5AM or 5AM-9AM. Plan accordingly.
8. Dress in layers. It is easier to take off than put on. It gets very cold. Coldest time being 4AM. It is also a good idea to keep a warm pitcher of tea or hot chocolate or coffee (of course, not decaf) in the car.
9. Bring a sick friend with you to infect everyone else. Make sure they don't stand too close to you and you'll be on top of your game while everyone else....won't be.
10. Feet and hand warmers. Go buy em.
11. If you like waffles or not, you will get an intense craving for waffles around 5AM. No time to stop at Perkins, so put some waffles in your pocket.
12. Don't be afraid to push. There are nasty people out there. They will spit on you. They will beat you up. But don't take their crap. Push them, shove them, make them get out of your way and that sweater or big screen TV will be yours. (Don't spit back at them, it may get you taken into custody...or just taken out of the store...opposite effect of what you want)
13. If it's possible, grab a shopping cart. Easy to store things (just keep an eye on it, there are some nasty thieves out there) and perfect for pushing people out of the way.
14. It is important to wear comfortable shoes and clothes with lots of pockets. You never know what you may need on that day. Pack some silly string to distract other shoppers from grabbing YOUR new GPS.
15. Make a list of what you plan to get that night. Many deals for me are spontaneous and I just end up buying a lot of extra stuff, but it is a good idea to have a list of what exactly you are looking for that night. Put it in one of those many pockets you will have.
16. You must have eyes everywhere. People will take things right out of your hand if you are not paying attention.
17. DONT FALL ASLEEP YOU MUST STAY AWAKE. Keep thinking, "Good stuff cheap," like the Ollie's motto, but better stuff than what you may find in an Ollie's.
18. Don't stress yourself out. Everyone seems to make this mistake. If you are having fun, you will have a much better Black Friday experience.
19. Dress like a superstar. I know it can be hard to dress warm and with a lot of pockets AND like a superstar, but dress like one and people will think you are one. They will be distracted by how amazing you look and will feel self conscious about themselves in their pajamas. It will throw them off their game.
20. Finally, remember, you idolize this woman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wer7b29mreA
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Inauguration Day 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009.
A good 3 hours of sleep under my belt, I woke up, ready for this day. My dad, my Uncle John, my friend Kyle, and I were ready to head into DC for the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States. My dad was certainly prepared for the day, as he stuffed all of his pockets with ham sandwiches, trail mix, water bottles, hand and feet warmers -- he was like a walking convenient store. I had so many layers of clothing on, putting them on was extremely difficult. I'd put on a few layers and then realize I forgot one and would have to start all over again. It was going to be a long, cold day. But we never expected what was to come.
Leaving the Cacioppo's house, we headed to the New Carrollton metro station. The traffic was absolutely ridiculous, but when we finally got off the exit, the line did not look so long. We were confused, but hey, not a long line! So we thought. Once we got to the top of the stairs, the line stretched a few blocks down, turned around and came back. Close to 3 hours we stood in that line, in the cold, making friends from all over the country.
I call this one "Turning the Corner"
We got off the metro and the Federal Triangle and when we were waiting to board the escalators along with 19842981298903284 other people, this strong breeze came down and someone yelled, "I feel the winds of change!"
Federal Triangle
We got up the escalator and there were people EVERYWHERE. And they were all be herded in one direction. We crossed the street as a line of police officers stood, silent, forming the path. We were no where near the Capitol Building, but we didn't really care. I looked toward the Capitol and just saw a sea of people. To the right, I saw the Washington Monument, surrounded by people. It was truly incredible.
They gave everyone on the National Mall little American flags, which made for cool pictures. Yet, every time you waved the flag, you whacked the person next to you because we were so crowded in. Just watching the people was enough for me. Everyone had so much clothes on, they couldn't move. I specifically remember this one lady who was sitting on the ground and when she went to stand up, she couldn't. There were a ridiculous amount of porta potties surrounding the Mall. I don't know why I remember this, but I do.
By the time celebrities like Beyonce and Alicia Keys graced the screens in front of us, I had forgotten about the cold. I saw my girl Hillary Clinton, and Scranton man Joe Biden. When Aretha got up to sing, she had that ridiculous hat on and everyone on the Mall laughed a little. One thing I know they edited out from the TV -- when they showed President Bush on the screen, people actually began to boo. To me, he was still leader of this country and I did not partake in the booing. He was in office only a few months when 9/11 occurred. I don't think he was at all the greatest president, but he was entertaining nonetheless.
We watched the whole ceremony on screens on the Mall. The video was waaaaaay behind the audio. You would hear President Obama speak, and then like ten seconds later, you would see him saying those words. No one seemed to care, though. We were like one big family. It didn't matter that we didn't know each other. We were sharing this experience.
Though, the worst was yet to come. Leaving the Mall was like a scene in Animal House. There were only two streets that were open that we could exit through, yet no one knew what they were. A crowd of people would walk down one street and we would follow, until they were turn around yelling "GO BACK GO BACK ITS NOT THIS ONE!"During this commotion, President Bush was boarding the helicopter back to Texas and a crowd of people had gathered round singing "Nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye." Another thing they probably would never show on TV.
We finally found an exit, and what we thought we be a quick way out. We headed down into the L'Enfant Plaza station. We walked downstairs into the little mall where I ran into a crowd of people. This crowd of people was the line to board the train. The ceilings were low. Everyone was dressed for negative 30 degree weather and down there it was 130 degrees. People were stripping left and right. We moved about 3 bathroom tiles every twenty minutes. Thank God we packed those ham sandwiches. People began to faint and become sick and someone would yell, "Hey! Where's that guy with the peanuts?" And my dad would whip a pack of trail mix down the hall. "Hey! Where's that guy with the water?" Dad would throw a water bottle across the hall.
People tried to make the situation better by singing. Which was great, but it made it HOTTER....if that was even possible. We got to the end of the hall, thought we were finally out, turned the corner....ANOTHER HALLWAY. CRAZINESS. People began chanting "AIR! AIR! AIR!" And after 3 1/2 hours, down the escalators we went to board the train and head back to Annapolis. And even though that was probably one of the worst experiences of my life, it was still one of the best days of my life. I was a part of history.
A good 3 hours of sleep under my belt, I woke up, ready for this day. My dad, my Uncle John, my friend Kyle, and I were ready to head into DC for the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States. My dad was certainly prepared for the day, as he stuffed all of his pockets with ham sandwiches, trail mix, water bottles, hand and feet warmers -- he was like a walking convenient store. I had so many layers of clothing on, putting them on was extremely difficult. I'd put on a few layers and then realize I forgot one and would have to start all over again. It was going to be a long, cold day. But we never expected what was to come.
Leaving the Cacioppo's house, we headed to the New Carrollton metro station. The traffic was absolutely ridiculous, but when we finally got off the exit, the line did not look so long. We were confused, but hey, not a long line! So we thought. Once we got to the top of the stairs, the line stretched a few blocks down, turned around and came back. Close to 3 hours we stood in that line, in the cold, making friends from all over the country.
We got off the metro and the Federal Triangle and when we were waiting to board the escalators along with 19842981298903284 other people, this strong breeze came down and someone yelled, "I feel the winds of change!"
We got up the escalator and there were people EVERYWHERE. And they were all be herded in one direction. We crossed the street as a line of police officers stood, silent, forming the path. We were no where near the Capitol Building, but we didn't really care. I looked toward the Capitol and just saw a sea of people. To the right, I saw the Washington Monument, surrounded by people. It was truly incredible.
They gave everyone on the National Mall little American flags, which made for cool pictures. Yet, every time you waved the flag, you whacked the person next to you because we were so crowded in. Just watching the people was enough for me. Everyone had so much clothes on, they couldn't move. I specifically remember this one lady who was sitting on the ground and when she went to stand up, she couldn't. There were a ridiculous amount of porta potties surrounding the Mall. I don't know why I remember this, but I do.
By the time celebrities like Beyonce and Alicia Keys graced the screens in front of us, I had forgotten about the cold. I saw my girl Hillary Clinton, and Scranton man Joe Biden. When Aretha got up to sing, she had that ridiculous hat on and everyone on the Mall laughed a little. One thing I know they edited out from the TV -- when they showed President Bush on the screen, people actually began to boo. To me, he was still leader of this country and I did not partake in the booing. He was in office only a few months when 9/11 occurred. I don't think he was at all the greatest president, but he was entertaining nonetheless.
We watched the whole ceremony on screens on the Mall. The video was waaaaaay behind the audio. You would hear President Obama speak, and then like ten seconds later, you would see him saying those words. No one seemed to care, though. We were like one big family. It didn't matter that we didn't know each other. We were sharing this experience.
Obama accepting the Oath of Office
Though, the worst was yet to come. Leaving the Mall was like a scene in Animal House. There were only two streets that were open that we could exit through, yet no one knew what they were. A crowd of people would walk down one street and we would follow, until they were turn around yelling "GO BACK GO BACK ITS NOT THIS ONE!"During this commotion, President Bush was boarding the helicopter back to Texas and a crowd of people had gathered round singing "Nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye." Another thing they probably would never show on TV.
We finally found an exit, and what we thought we be a quick way out. We headed down into the L'Enfant Plaza station. We walked downstairs into the little mall where I ran into a crowd of people. This crowd of people was the line to board the train. The ceilings were low. Everyone was dressed for negative 30 degree weather and down there it was 130 degrees. People were stripping left and right. We moved about 3 bathroom tiles every twenty minutes. Thank God we packed those ham sandwiches. People began to faint and become sick and someone would yell, "Hey! Where's that guy with the peanuts?" And my dad would whip a pack of trail mix down the hall. "Hey! Where's that guy with the water?" Dad would throw a water bottle across the hall.
Dad, me, Kyle (Uncle John took the photo)
Check out this video, get a sense of the craziness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP7QdaYQtKQ
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